Listening to My Life

Recipe Trifecta!

2012-02-13T22:01:00.000-08:00

There is just too much good cookin' going on at my house these days... rather than share them in separate posts, I'm going to list 3 new ones that I tried out last week. All gluten-free, all seasonal, all healthy, all sooper-dooper tastalicious, if I do say so myself. Which I do.

Spaghetti Squash with Turkey Meatballs
(thank you Martha)

I bought a lovely golden spaghetti squash last week at San Marcos Farms and wondered if there was a new way to use it. I googled spaghetti squash, and lo and behold, Martha Stewart came through with several options. This one seemed the most interesting and it was fantastic.

Rather than spell it all out here, here's the link to the recipe. And if you're curious, hit the "back to Spag Squash recipes" link at the top, and see what other delights await you.... as for the breadcrumbs, I have a bag of gluten-free bread slices in the freezer for this very cause. I pull out a slice and grate it on my cheese grater and voila! These meatballs were really good. And the spaghetti squash tasted better than if the meatballs and sauce had been served on pasta noodles.

Hearty Oatmeal Pancakes
This gem comes from a terrific birthday present I received -- a very cool cookbook called Simply in Season. This is an entire cookbook based on seasonal, sustainable recipes. You just feel good about yourself when you use it :)

I used some gluten-free flour and gluten-free oats in this recipe. Do not be daunted by the requirement to soak the oats in buttermilk or non-fat yogurt the night before. Worked like a charm for me, and took very little time.

I found the recipe link online here... but I highly recommend getting the cookbook. It is inspiring me to be even more adventurous in the kitchen. C'mon... is that possible?!

Simply in Season - go here to check it out...

Last but not least... Velvety Vegetable Soup
Once again, from Simply in Season. I made this last night as I prepared to watch the Grammys. It was cold outside, revving up to rain, and I saw a bunch of vegetables in my crisper. This worked perfectly, made the house smell wonderful, and warmed my belly quite nicely. Though I kept it vegetarian, it would taste really good with some diced chicken or even some crumbled bacon or sausage. And I topped off my bowl with a nice slice of cheddar that made this an even richer comfort food experience. No holdin' back!

I found this recipe online as well. Interestingly enough, both of these last two links rave about this cookbook too. Appears I am late to the party. Happy cooking.

Stones

2012-02-10T21:05:00.000-08:00

I read three different things today that divinely tied together in a way that stayed with me throughout my day.

First I read this:

A basic trouble is that most Churches limit themselves unnecessarily by addressing their message almost exclusively to those who are open to religious impressions through the intellect, whereas ... there are at least four other gateways -- the emotions, the imagination, the aesthetic feeling, and the will, through which they can be reached. A. J. Gossip (1873-1954)

Over the years I have found that preaching the gospel, especially to junior high and high school students, required me to be very creative. Not because I sought to somehow "entertain" them, but because it quickly becomes apparent that each child learns in a different way... and no one way is "right." (For more insight into this, read this article -- it had a profound impact on me years ago.)

Some of my kids liked small group discussions... some needed to use their hands in an active (and productive!) way... some learned quietly in a large group... some needed silence to reflect in a journal... still others loved getting up front or raising their hands frequently with questions or comments. You get the point. There are a multitude of ways that each of us learn. I personally need to write notes when I listen to anything. Once the words go from ear to brain to hand to eye... it's in there. I rarely refer back to the notes. The act of writing itself helps me remember what I'm hearing.

So why would we think the act of preaching the gospel is limited to expository preaching?! I love a hearty sermon more than most, I promise you. Given my aforementioned propensity to take notes, I can easily track with the speaker and concentrate for up to an hour as a good word is given.

Nevertheless... I also hear Jesus in Bach's St. Matthew's Passion, or Rembrandt's The Return of the Prodigal Son or in a songbird at the birdbath in my front yard. I smell Jesus when I walk through poor villages in the volcanic highlands of Guatemala or when I am grilling six dozen burgers for youth group. I feel His presence when I am talking with a college student about her sense of what God might have for her future, or when I hear an elderly woman behind me sing a hymn in church. So, so many ways that we may apprehend the presence of our dear Christ in, through, and with our senses. The longer I know and follow Him, the more often I am surprised by how he communicates. How can anyone deny this?!

Soon after my mind wandered down this path of reflection, I was further blessed by today's reading from the Book of Exodus, chapter 31:

The LORD then gave these instructions to Moses: “Tell the people of Israel: ‘Be careful to keep my Sabbath day, for the Sabbath is a sign of the covenant between me and you from generation to generation. It is given so you may know that I am the LORD, who makes you holy. You must keep the Sabbath day, for it is a holy day for you. Anyone who desecrates it must be put to death; anyone who works on that day will be cut off from the community. You have six days each week for your ordinary work, but the seventh day must be a Sabbath day of complete rest, a holy day dedicated to the LORD. Anyone who works on the Sabbath must be put to death. The people of Israel must keep the Sabbath day by observing it from generation to generation. This is a covenant obligation for all time. It is a permanent sign of my covenant with the people of Israel. For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, but on the seventh day he stopped working and was refreshed.’”

I have preached more than once about the Sabbath, camping on Exodus 20 and the giving of the Ten Commandments. I have made a strong point that this fourth commandment is treated by most of us believers as a great suggestion rather than a commandment. If we treated the other commandments this way -- about lying, murder, stealing and so on -- we would be in far greater trouble than we already are!!

Yet I have never included this poignant follow up section from chapter 31. Here we are reminded of God's earnest call for intimacy with His people. Our relationship with God is one of deep, abiding, safe love. How foolish we are to treat so casually.

More importantly, I find that the more steadily I practice Sabbath, the better I see, hear, taste, feel, and think about God. Sabbath helps me "sharpen my saw." All the more reason to practice it!

Finally, I was moved by this keen reminder. On this day in 1990, Nelson Mandela was released from prison in South Africa, twenty-seven years after being put there for being convicted of plotting to overthrow the government because of its hateful and oppressive policy of apartheid. At one point he wrote:

“To be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”

As we enjoy God's presence in a constant and intimate way through all of our senses, as we especially revel in that holy relationship through Sabbath practice, I know that we will be unable to not desire the way of Jesus, a way that respects and enhances others' lives. As we are set free, once and for all, and in new ways each year, the proclamation of the gospel can simply flow out of us. As it says in Luke 19:40, the stones would cry out with its truth and beauty; it cannot and would not be suppressed. May it be so, Lord.

FSE #4 - Justice & Mercy

2012-02-04T22:58:00.000-08:00

This latest "Former Student Encounter" post comes out of several conversations I've had in the first month of this new year. I never tire of these. Questions from these young adults, though I have heard them many times before, always stir the pot for me personally, and keep me from becoming too cynical. I have always joked that one of the reasons I have stayed in youth ministry for so long is because young people's sense of wonder, along with their earnest belief that they can change the world, keeps me young.

The topics range all over the map... purpose in life, what it means to be truly independent, how to discern God's will, how can we respond adequately to poverty, what is success, who are my real friends...

Yesterday was particularly rich. In the morning over breakfast I talked about what to do after graduation with a student who asked so many good questions. At some point we talked about ministry, grad school, and making a living (quite the trifecta). This then led to a conversation about what it means to make a difference, and how challenging that is to quantify. I shared some things I've been reading recently about justice and mercy, two words I thought I understood. After all, I sang Micah 6:8 in the seventies, right?! Hum along with me...

He has shown thee, O man

What is good and what the Lord

Requires of thee (2x)

But to do justly and to love mercy

And To walk humbly with thy God...

However, this sermon, preached by John Hay, a Free Methodist pastor in Indianapolis, got up in my grill over Christmas break. Take a few minutes to read it in entirety. A few sentences are worth mentioning here:

Most recently, the 2003 denomination-wide (Free Methodist) mission statement includes in the local profile of a healthy congregation: "Every church seeking justice and showing mercy to the poor and disenfranchised." There is no question: the history and challenge of "doing justice" is well-embedded in the denominational DNA. The precedents and practices of "doing justice" are ample. The more pressing question, to me, is this: what range and in what manner should "doing justice" have in the life a believer, pastor, and local congregation as we move into the 21st century?

He goes on to break down the separate meanings of justice and mercy in ways I had never really grappled with. He would define acts of mercy as acts of charity, compassion, relief and philanthropy; in other words, they relieve immediate crises and human indignities. Acts of justice look to fight for actions that permanently change social norms and bring about reform. Put another way, they "rectify the crises and indignities that are repeatedly visited upon vulnerable individuals and groups." It's more about seeking to change the systems that create the need for acts of mercy in the first place. Mercy, which is incredibly necessary, is nevertheless more reactive, and justice is more proactive.

Ouch. Maybe I could give myself a B+ on acts of mercy, but whoa nelly, on acts of justice, I have a l-o-n-g way to go. My breakfast companion and I talked through what this could look like in our lives, and we admitted that it is a challenge. Think about William Wilberforce - it took him 50 years to end slavery in England! Yet I can't shake the challenges of this sermon because he calls on the words of Isaiah 58, where believers are called to loosen the chains of injustice, untie the cord of the yoke, set the oppressed free... it is important to feed the poor, but what about transformation of a whole culture? Isn't our God big enough to do that?

Later in the day I met with a group of Westmont students for a new bible study that started last week. We are reading in the Book of Philippians, but the wealth of questions and comments that spin out of the scripture reading (coupled with what they are learning in their classes) are a delight. We talked about what it means to know God's will, and ways we tend to talk about it. There is a lot of "God talk" up at Westmont, obviously, but also within the church, and we spent some time wading through all the standard sayings, looking for real meaning.

I argued that we need to spend far less time trying to figure out God's will for our lives, because let's be honest, we will never know it this side of heaven. Rather, let's just focus on his revealed will, which is summed up in the Greatest Commandment in Mark 12:29-31,

Jesus replied, “The most important commandment is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The LORD our God is the one and only LORD. And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.”

This brings me back to the breakfast conversation. We can make a difference by seeking after ways to love our neighbor as ourselves by performing acts of mercy and justice. Yet we won't have the strength to do that consistently without loving God with every fiber of our being. We don't have to pray about whether or not we should do that! It's more a matter of getting out of our chair and doing it regularly. What I talked about with both groups is then figuring out what this looks like as a normal part of our lives, rather than just as a spring break projects or a weekend here and there.

For me, it means being where poor people are, and listening. A couple of weeks ago it rained pretty heavily (for Santa Barbara, anyway) and I needed to take the bus rather than get sopping wet on my scooter. There was barely an empty seat as I boarded. I pulled out my earbuds and iPhone for the 30-minute ride, but then for some reason I felt like I wasn't supposed to do that. I put them away and just waited...

Soon I could not help but overhear the conversation in the seat in front of me. Two people who seemed to know each other casually started talking about what they do in weather like this. They started sharing tips with one another about where to buy clean socks, which bus shelters have coverings and which do not, where to buy the biggest burritos for the lowest price... I didn't take long for me to figure out that they were both homeless. My spirit was grieved, and humbled. I was spending my mental energy calculating how to get the most work done in the least amount of time, what to make for dinner that night, whether or not to watch the Lakers game on TV, which CD I wanted to download with my iTunes giftcard... and these folks were helping each other figure out solely how to make it through that day.

I am not saying we can take on all the world's poverty, or even the homelessness of Santa Barbara. But that doesn't mean we don't do anything. I realized I have never even thought about the coverings over bus shelters, or the life-or-death value of clean, warm socks. In the immediate, this requires acts of mercy. But in the long term, it seems ridiculous to just keep putting bandaids on the problem.

Again, I cannot recommend the sermon enough that I referred to earlier. He articulates some very clear, tangible justice-driven responses. This one hits me the most:

We are as redemptively involved in our communities for social reform as we are in our congregations for spiritual formation and revival. Spiritual formation encourages active neighboring as well as service to support congregational life. Volunteers serve local justice concerns in balance with congregational outreach ministries. We see the two as complementary, not competitive or exclusionary.

In other words, I hear him saying that we should talk as a church about what we are doing in the name of Christ in our community as much as we are about what Christ is doing in us personally. Sure, it's wonderful that we give away thousands to missions around the world. But what are we doing right here, right now?

And currently, THAT is what I am enjoying the most about these FSE's. These students want to do something as a result of who Christ is in them. I am blessed to know them.

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves;

ensure justice for those being crushed.

Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless,

and see that they get justice. (Proverbs 31:8-9)

Whom Do I Follow?

2012-01-21T12:38:00.000-08:00

There is a lot of talk about following these days. Sure, most of it is related to blogs, Twitter and social media, and not real following of leadership. But so much trendy talk blurs the true concept of what it means to follow.

I have this on my mind for three reasons...

1. I just got back from a consulting project at a local church. I've been working with this church since last August. They invited me to come in and do with them what I have been doing with Free Methodist churches (and some other non-profits) for the last three years: help them assess the gifts and calling of their staff and leadership team, and coach them in a new and focused direction. As this unfolds, I also work with the core leaders on strategic planning and management.

As I worked this morning with this team of lay leaders, I was especially struck by how energized they were by the conversation. I rely heavily on Strengths-Finders assessments to coach and train leaders and to create a common understanding of what we're talking about. I was reminded again that people love to be led by those who seek to bring out the best in them. I led the two-hour training not as much out of charisma (though I always love to engage people and make them laugh!) as out of a desire to leave them aware of their own capacity to contribute. I always pray after these presentations that they are left talking about what's next for them, and not about me or anything I said.

2. This morning I read the story of Joseph in the Book of Genesis. I gauge how good a story is by how much I want to turn the page to find out what happens next. I know the story of Joseph. I have read it so many times, and recounted it just as much. Nevertheless, as I read it this morning I was still compelled to keep going and "find out what happens next." What I noticed this time though was the multiple and subtle ways that Joseph brought leadership to every situation. As he interpreted Pharoah's dream, look what happens (Genesis 41:33-40):

Joseph: “Therefore, Pharaoh should find an intelligent and wise man and put him in charge of the entire land of Egypt. Then Pharaoh should appoint supervisors over the land and let them collect one-fifth of all the crops during the seven good years. Have them gather all the food produced in the good years that are just ahead and bring it to Pharaoh’s storehouses. Store it away, and guard it so there will be food in the cities. That way there will be enough to eat when the seven years of famine come to the land of Egypt. Otherwise this famine will destroy the land.”

Joseph’s suggestions were well received by Pharaoh and his officials. So Pharaoh asked his officials, “Can we find anyone else like this man so obviously filled with the spirit of God?” Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, “Since God has revealed the meaning of the dreams to you, clearly no one else is as intelligent or wise as you are. You will be in charge of my court, and all my people will take orders from you. Only I, sitting on my throne, will have a rank higher than yours.”

Given the deep antipathy felt by the Egyptians toward Hebrews, I truly believe that Joseph was not campaigning to be that "intelligent and wise man" put in charge; it could not have been a remote possibility in his mind. Nevertheless, his obvious skills were evident. Leaders should be recognized, not appointed.

If someone comes to me and says, "I think I'm called to be a pastor," (and this happens a lot to me -- I'm a director of recruiting, after all!) the first thing I say to them is "Great. Start a bible study. Let me know how it goes." The fruit will be evident. I firmly believe we do not give people the title and let them grow into it. We set people lose to work out of their calling and talents, and recognize what God is doing in and through them. Those are people I want to follow, and whom I am recruiting to lead the church and in the community.

3. I'm following every minute of this year's election. My friend A. and I are addicted followers of politics, and talk about it frequently. But I do not think my addiction reveals that I think the solutions of the world's problems are going to be found in political systems. As New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof wrote at year-end,

Here's a paradox: We’re finding authentic leadership these days not from our nominal leaders in Washington but from unelected (and mostly unelectable) figures whom we like to deride as self-indulgent narcissists. Congress is so paralyzed and immature, even sleazy, that we reporters sometimes leave a politician’s press conference feeling the urgent need to shower. But look at university and high school students. Sure, plenty still live for a party, but a growing number have no time for beer because they’re so busy tutoring prisoners, battling sex trafficking or building wells in Africa.

Rather than the President or Congress, I know the solution to the sin and brokenness of this world is found in the gospel, and in how God uses His people to live out his love and transforming power. This is leadership that the world desperately needs, and I am so anxious for the church to be the place that provides those leaders.

In fact, it is what I am giving my life to from here on out... Yes, I use Twitter, and yes, I follow many accounts, and yes, I follow certain blogs. And I hope people "like" the Facebook page I've recently created, and I choose my own "likes" carefully. But ultimately, whom I follow is the One who is irresistible. As the marginalized Samaritan woman burst out with upon her encounter with Jesus,
“Come and see a man who told me everything I ever did! Could he possibly be the Messiah?”

May we look for true leaders to guide us, and be willing to be such leaders ourselves, should God put that call on us.

Cluck Cluck... Gobble Gobble

2012-01-15T20:06:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted a recipe since last year (OK, since December...) and I am happy to have a new and creative one to share.

I'm not sure what to call it. If you're feeling rather homey and proud to be a coupon clipper, you can call it "Oven-Fried Chicken." If you want to appear chic and sophisticated, hold your pinkie in the air and go with "Pecan-Crusted Chicken." Either way, it's a new way to bake chicken that you will gobble right up. Get it? :)

And honestly, it's about as close to fried chicken as you can get with none of the fat and kill-your-heart complications. Enjoy.

OVEN FRIED CHICKEN or PECAN-CRUSTED CHICKEN

Ingredients:
6 (4 oz) skinless chicken breasts (bone-in or boneless)
2 large eggs
1/4 c non-fat or soy milk
1/2 c finely chopped pecans
1/3 c cornmeal (I used polenta)
1/3 c whole wheat, oat or gluten-free flour
1 tsp salt
1 tsp onion or garlic powder... or both
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
1/2 tsp fresh ground pepper
1 tb butter, slivered into thin slices

Directions:
Pre-heat oven to 425 with the rack in the center. Line a 9 x 13 inch deep baking dish with foil.

In a wide bowl whisk the eggs and milk. In another shallow bowl or pie tin, stir together the pecans, cornmeal, flour, and spices. (If you have a food processor or Cuisinart Smart Stick, I quickly pulsed the dry ingredients together to make the pecans more fine. Don't pulverize them, but give a good couple of pushes on the button.)

Dip the chicken breasts one at a time into the egg wash, then dredge each one in the pecan mixture.

Place the chicken in the baking dish. Dot each coated piece with a little butter. Bake until golden brown -- approximately 40 minutes.

P.S. Halfway through the baking, I put in a tray of Yam Fries. Baked Potato Fries or Sweet Potato Fries will work too. Very, very tasty.

FSE #3 - "Transitions"

2012-01-11T11:28:00.000-08:00

Someone told me yesterday that they've enjoyed the two FSE posts I've written so far. I chuckled and said, "Frankly, I could write one every day, but I don't want to wear people out." Certainly, the Christmas and New Year's break has afforded an even larger number of coffee talks...

This past week I've gotten together with two graduates who are in the thick of "Now what?!" In that same span, I've also talked with two friends who are closer to my age who are saying... "Now what?!"

Ironic, isn't it? Whenever I sit and listen to a female high school student who bemoans the gossipy, mean-girls struggles of female friendships, I let them know, "I'm afraid it doesn't change much as you get older..." The same could be said of transitions.

In my conversations with so many graduating college students (and let me tell you, I've sat and listened to a LOT of them), eventually they say something to the effect of "It's just so hard to have so many unknowns ahead." I will not dismiss their concerns outright, because they are genuine and almost palpable. But after they unload all their fears and insecurities and come up for air, I try to let them know that this will be the first of many challenging transitions in their lives.

Not only have I sat with students struggling with career, identity and community upon graduation, I've sat with girlfriends who are struggling with all of their friends getting married. I've heard from friends when they have babies talk about the isolation and lack of fulfillment they feel at having their lives revolve around one (though very cute) little life, anonymously. I've sympathized with parents who anguish over seeing their children, who previously put their parents at the center of their universe, callously blow them off as they enter adolescence. I've sat with empty nest parents who weep over the silence of their once-busy households. I've nodded my head in compassion as I sit with a friend over lunch who has either been laid off or is realizing that they desperately need to make a career change. And as I have recorded here, I have anguished with friends dealing with terminal health crises that have derailed their plans dramatically.

One of the graduates I sat with last week was amazingly articulate, and with her permission I was able to write down the specific questions and thoughts she is struggling with. When you read them, you'll agree with me that these are fundamental to every transition in life:

What am I most afraid of?
I need an idea of what I am even looking for.
Relationships are really important to me. Which ones do I build my community on?
How important is it to live near my family? I don't feel like I fit in at home anymore.
I.Need.Deep.People.
This is gonna be new territory for me... that makes me nervous.

Incredible, isn't it?

She asked me for advice, and I will share the brief thoughts I shared with her, knowing that I have said the same things to each of the other situations I just described:

Give yourself at least a year. Certainly, identifying your fears and focusing your attention on doing something about your situation is so important (rather than living in the land of "yeah, I should do something about that..."). But my strongest counsel is to pace yourself. This problem isn't going anywhere. Things took a long time to get this way... they will take some time to unfold and take root.
Give yourself grace. One of my favorite lines with graduates is, "Quit trying to be the next Indiana Jones for Jesus." As believers we are often exposed to (or perhaps went to school with) so many extraordinary speakers and leaders who are doing really impressive things in the name of the Lord: starting non-profit agencies, writing books, speaking to thousands, going to prestigious grad schools... But let's be honest: the majority of us will be ordinary people who simply need to invite the extraordinary God to work through us in the daily stuff of life.
Give your soul space. To both of the graduates I met with this week, I strongly counseled them to spend regular time to be quiet. To cultivate room in the heads, hearts and schedules to pay attention, both to God and to themselves. I hope that makes sense. It is really easy to cope with the anxiety of transition by tap dancing as fast as you can, keeping busy with a multitude of things that throw a lot of dust in the air but don't always add up to the real issues at hand. We need to spend time in scripture (look up resources in lectio divina), listening prayer, reading about God (not just cheesy Christian books), and some form of reflection where you are able to know how you are doing. I've seen some friends slide into depression, anxiety and compulsions that were recognized when they took the time to admit it.

If any of this applies to you, perhaps these words I read this morning from Proverbs 3 will resonate:

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart;

do not depend on your own understanding.

6 Seek his will in all you do,

and he will show you which path to take.

7 Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. (Humbling words!)

Instead, fear the LORD and turn away from evil.

8 Then you will have healing for your body

and strength for your bones.

I'm so thankful we are not alone. He is faithful.

Book Review: The Shaping of an Effective Leader

2012-01-06T19:32:00.000-08:00

I think it's safe to say that in every single conversation that I had this week I was asked this question:

"So what did you do over the Christmas break?"

The chitchat tends to hover around the topics of family visits, house projects, time to catch up on sleep, and so on. And while it is always fun to catch up (because I love the people I talk to), secretly I would rather talk most about the one thing in particular during the Christmas through New Year's holiday that I enjoy more than everything else...

The chance to read.

Sure, it might sound pretty nerdy to admit it, but there it is. For the last few weeks of every year I start pulling out the books that have been on my "wouldashouldacoulda" reading list for the previous months. I get WAY too ambitious and start entertaining visions of reading 4-5 books over the break.

Then reality sets in, and of course I have far less free time than I imagined. But nevertheless, I do have a few quiet evenings at home and even an idle afternoon or two, to read for more than 20 minutes before I go to bed. This is heavenly for me. I believe I have mentioned here before that I was an English major in college purely because I love to read.

My tastes are highly eclectic, and wander into some topics that you may find a little dry. I read a book on theology and missiology, caught up on some issues of the New Yorker, and got going on a book about retracing the steps of a wandering monk in the Middle East.

But even I was surprised to find that my favorite book of the break was this one: The Shaping of an Effective Leader: Eight Formative Principles of Leadership, written by Gayle Beebe. Initially I picked it up because it is written by the parent of one of my students... But he also happens to be the president of Westmont College. A minor detail, right?! (Kidding)

My official title with the Free Methodist Church in Southern California is "Director of Recruiting and Leadership Development," so I imagine it comes as no surprise that I would find this book interesting. But before you wonder how I could possibly relax over the holiday by reading a book that is work-related, let me assure of this: This is a very accessible, enjoyable, inspiring book to read.

In the same breath I will say that it is not something you casually skim for 2 hours. It is absolutely jam-packed with an almost dizzying number of pearls of wisdom. My copy is already heavily underlined and tagged with multiple post-it notes. But at the same time Gayle somehow manages to intersperse a tremendous assortment of anecdotes and illustrations in the midst of it all, and makes it something that I tore through very quickly.

To be sure, many of the details were of interest to me because I am familiar with all of the institutions mentioned in the book. And the entire issue of leadership is something I have devoted my entire adult life to understanding and developing. Which also means I have read multiple books already on this topic. Why do I think this has something new to add?

This paragraph says it all for me:

I realized that our understanding of leadership does not come to us all at once. It takes time. In our instant-oriented culture we often want to short-circuit the thinking, reflecting and acting that mark our progressive development as leaders. Understanding how leaders develop and why they matter requires discernment, wisdom and insight. (p. 22, emphasis mine)

In other words, Gayle is not promoting some gimmicky methodology here. Instead, he takes the reader through a very thoughtful process of how one becomes a leader, and also how one shapes other leaders. He helped me to see how my own leadership has evolved, and how much more I have to learn. More importantly perhaps, he motivated me to get even better at it as he lifted up the value of gifted, intentional, and wise leadership.

So my advice is simple. Get. This. Book. I've already ordered a batch for the pastoral interns I will train this summer, and I plan on assigning it as a text for an upcoming course I will be teaching. Think about your own context: If you are leading a Bible study, running a business, managing or supervising employees, teaching, heading up a team, or just flat out interested in being or becoming a better leader, this book has much to say. I have already used content from it twice this very week in consulting with pastors on projects we are working on. I can tell that I will be drawing from it over and over again.

Once you are finished reading it, do what I'm getting in the habit of doing for books I like: Write a review on the Amazon page. There are so many lame books out there on getting rich quick or reducing success down to five easy principles that all start with the same letter. I want to see this book rise to the top and get the attention it deserves.

FSE #2 - "Home"

2012-01-05T20:34:00.000-08:00

It's time for a second installment of "FSE" (Former Student Encounters). Thank you to those who read and responded to the first one, either through comments on the blog post itself or through emails to me, Facebook likes or tweets. Perhaps the most gratifying was that the majority of the follow up came from other former students! It encouraged me to keep going, and thankfully, opportunities come up pretty often.

Today I had coffee with a former student who is still home on break from college. She and I have always talked about family: the stresses and struggles, the small victories and occasional surprises. At one point she asked me for some advice on how to stay engaged with her family when it's obvious that things just go better all the way around when she's not back in the house! The old adage, "Out of sight, out of mind," applies here. The longer she's away, the more she settles in with new friends from school, and finds it so easy to get attached to them -- and thus a bit more detached from her immediate family. Then it becomes that much more challenging to re-enter her dysfunctional and deeply painful situation when she's home on break.

I did not pretend to have any easy answers. Most of all, I tried to listen well, and at one point, just sighed, looked at her and said simply, "I'm just so sorry." More than anything, I said, we have to remember that we cannot "fix" our families. First of all, they are not usually are seeking out our advice on how to improve, right? Counseling 101 teaches us that we cannot control the actions and decisions of others; we can only control ourselves, and how we respond to what our family members do.

Especially during the holiday it's tempting to look at other families and think they are all having way more fun that yours is. But regardless of what is really going on with everyone else, I have learned that it is useless to compare. We were born into our families for a reason. But at the same time, I always encourage students to not try to figure out exactly what that reason is!

As we continued talking, I told her that one benefit of this tension of growing up is that we are reminded that, no matter how things are going here on earth, that heaven is our true home. Two passages have given me great comfort over the years in this regard:

Dear brothers and sisters, pattern your lives after mine, and learn from those who follow our example. For I have told you often before, and I say it again with tears in my eyes, that there are many whose conduct shows they are really enemies of the cross of Christ. They are headed for destruction. Their god is their appetite, they brag about shameful things, and they think only about this life here on earth. But we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives. And we are eagerly waiting for him to return as our Savior. He will take our weak mortal bodies and change them into glorious bodies like his own, using the same power with which he will bring everything under his control. (Philippians 3:17-21)

* * * * *

4 The one thing I ask of the Lord—
the thing I seek most—
is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
delighting in the Lord’s perfections
and meditating in his Temple.
5 For he will conceal me there when troubles come;
he will hide me in his sanctuary.
He will place me out of reach on a high rock.
6 Then I will hold my head high
above my enemies who surround me.
At his sanctuary I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy,
singing and praising the Lord with music.

7 Hear me as I pray, O Lord.
Be merciful and answer me!
8 My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.”
And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.”
9 Do not turn your back on me.
Do not reject your servant in anger.
You have always been my helper.
Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me,
O God of my salvation!
10 Even if my father and mother abandon me,
the Lord will hold me close.

11 Teach me how to live, O Lord.
Lead me along the right path,
for my enemies are waiting for me.
12 Do not let me fall into their hands.
For they accuse me of things I’ve never done;
with every breath they threaten me with violence.
13 Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness
while I am here in the land of the living.

14 Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.

The passage from Philippians 3 helps me to remember that my story here on earth is very, very brief in light of eternity, so I cannot focus too much on the circumstances in front of me. They come, they go, faster than I realize. Instead, I will "fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith" (Hebrews 12) and do my best to run the race with endurance, seeking to finish well.

However, I am locked in time and space while I am here, and in my weakness, I often am desperate for the strength to persevere at that very moment. That is where the words of Psalm 27 keep my lips above the water as I gasp for air. Right when I am at the brink of despair, I end up getting a peek of the Lord's goodness to remind me of my eternal hope. It is like we are waiting for a big production to begin, and unexpectedly, we are allowed a quick look behind the curtain. That short glimpse only creates that much anticipation for us as we wait to enjoy the show.

I'm reading the Book of Genesis for my daily Bible reading these days. What a mess. By Genesis 4, brothers Cain and Abel are vying for attention; then Cain murders Abel. By Genesis 6, human wickedness has blanketed the planet, and God "was sorry he had ever made them and put them on the earth." By Genesis 11, human pride aspires to build its own tower to heaven. No one can say that the Bible is full of shiny, happy people with perfect lives. In spite of all our sickness and screwing up for thousands of years, the Bible is one long story of God choosing to remain in our midst, and better still, working in and through us in spite of our glaring shortcomings.

My prayer for this student I hung out with today, for myself, and for all of us, is that we could hear these words that God said to Abram in Genesis 12:

I will bless you... and you will be a blessing to others.

May we redeem our time here, whether it be long or short, waiting patiently and by His grace, learning to be brave and courageous. Jesus, come quickly.

Bird by Bird (aka Writing Update)

2012-01-03T15:52:00.000-08:00

I have had the opportunity to write occasionally for Youthworker Journal since 2009 (here are my past articles). I consider it a privilege because I have read this magazine for years and found it to be an excellent resource: a place to "let down my hair" and admit my fears and shortcomings, and also a trustworthy resource to get the tools I needed to get the job done.

So I did a little jig when I opened my mailbox today and found the latest issue, with my name on the cover (make your eyes all squinchy and you can see it under the "Loving God" headline.) So it's not fame and fortune in the big city, but it's fun all the same.

Should you not happen to have a subscription to this magazine (ahem), here's the link to the article. I especially loved submitting this one because it's all about perhaps my greatest passion in ministry: small groups. For those of you who have worked with me, you will recognize the Small Group Covenant, based on Galatians 6:1-2, that I include in this article.

I have some other writing that has come out recently:

a blog post with Conversations Journal on grief. If you haven't already, subscribe to this blog. I really enjoy it.
an article on the spiritual discipline of Simplicity for Light & Life Magazine, a national Free Methodist publication.
the first article in a year-long series on spiritual disciplines for youthworkers on YMToday.com. I have written a bunch of stuff for them (sometimes consolidated from other articles), so here's the listing here.

As I've mentioned before, writing doesn't really pay the bills, but my goodness I enjoy it. I've read several books on writing, but the one that probably has taught and inspired me the most is by Anne Lamott, and it's titled Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life. Anne is a little salty, so if you're uncomfortable with some not-used-in-the-Bible language now and again, you might want to skip it. But she has some really practical stuff there on writing. I will end with this quote from the book:

But I still encourage anyone who feels at all compelled to write to do so. I just try and warn people who hope to get published that publication is not all that it is cracked up to be. But writing is. Writing has so much to give, so much to teach, so many surprises. The thing you had to force yourself to do - the actual act of writing - turns out to be the best part. It’s like discovering that while you thought you needed the tea ceremony for caffeine, what you really needed was the tea ceremony. The act of writing turns out to be its own reward.

I’ve managed to get some work done nearly every day of my adult life, without impressive financial success. Yet I would do it all over again in a hot second, mistakes and doldrums and breakdowns and all. Sometimes I could not tell you exactly why, esepcially when it feels pointless and pitiful, like Sisyphus with cash-flow problems. Other days, though, my writing is like a person to me - the person who, after all these years, still makes sense to me.

Vexation

2011-12-30T16:10:00.000-08:00

In the last few days I've run across these statements in various ways. At this point, I'm just letting them percolate. But I know that at some point, they demand a response.

"This is the rule of most perfect Christianity, its most exact definition, its highest point, namely, the seeking of the common good. For nothing can so make a person an imitator of Christ as caring for his neighbors." John Chrysostom ("Golden Mouthed"), 4th century preacher and early church father

"Never take life for granted." Placard held by someone sitting on a downtown bench on State Street.

"Acts of mercy are needed to relieve immediate crises and human indignities. Acts of justice are needed to prevent or rectify the crises and indignities that are repeatedly visited upon vulnerable individuals and groups." John Hay, Free Methodist pastor

This is the message that the Lord gave to Israel through the prophet Malachi.
“I have always loved you,” says the Lord.
But you retort, “Really? How have you loved us?” Malachi 1:1-2

"Christmas carnage in Nigeria; 5 Churches bombed. Pray for believers in Nigeria after Christmas day. Church bombings left 45 people dead and 73 others injured." Email from World Evangelical Alliance: Religious Liberty Commission

"The greatest test of our integrity and character is the way we treat other people." Gayle Beebe, Westmont president, quoting Peter Drucker

FSE #1

2011-12-27T19:16:00.000-08:00

I'm back at home after a 3-day trip to see my folks. There was a lot of time in the car to pray and think, and in that time I pondered what is and could be ahead for 2012. I'm not a fan of resolutions I suppose, but I like to consider new things to learn and experience.

So my first new undertaking will be a humble one, but one that I enjoy. In 30 years of working with teens I've met hundreds (thousands?), and I am beyond grateful to say that I frequently get to reconnect with them in some lovely, and sometimes surprising ways. Occasionally I have written about them before.

It happens enough to me that I've decided to be that much more intentional about recording them here -- for reflection, for sharing, perhaps even for teaching a thing or two. I wracked my brain for a creative name, but couldn't come up with anything other than "FSE" -- which stands for "Former Student Encounters." I'm open to nominations to call it something else. Just be nice about it :)

Unless it seems terribly necessary, I will not reveal the name of the person I am writing about. Not only do I often talk about very personal things with them (which, have no fear those of you who are former students, I do not plan on sharing in detail with anyone) but ultimately, it can be a distraction. My only goal in sharing these encounters is to continue to taste and understand a deep truth I keep experiencing in my life -- what Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove has titled "The Wisdom of Stability."

By living in the same place for so long, I have gained something I missed out on as I grew up, where I moved midway through kindergarten, and again after second grade and then once more after fifth grade. Not having a "home plate" as a child felt like a distinct loss for me, and I vowed that as an adult I would anchor somewhere. Needless to say, I am grateful that I stumbled onto this little town called Santa Barbara!

But I will heartily defend myself by saying I haven't stayed because I surf or like to work on my tan. I have remained because I started working with teens as a senior in college, and couldn't seem to shake the addiction! Commitment to students kept me here when I graduated, and then one thing led to another: first an invitation to work for Young Life full-time, then another eleven years later to plant a youth group from scratch, staying for fifteen years. Somewhere in the midst of all that I learned this truth articulated so well by Jonathan:

In short, stability's wisdom insists that spiritual growth depends on human beings rooting ourselves in a place on earth with other creatures... I am convinced that we lose something essential to our existence as creatures if we do not recognize our fundamental need for stability. Trees can be transplanted, often with magnificent results. But their default is to stay.

Thus for "FSE #1" I will share a delightful little encounter I had today as I headed out from my parents. I had re-connected with this young woman a few months ago when she wrote me out of the blue to tell me of some big changes in her life. I asked if we could catch up next time our schedules coincided. Happily, she readily agreed.

As we sat over lattes and breakfast during this chilly morning, I was deeply moved as we caught up on her story. I knew she had wandered around quite a bit once she graduated from high school, but beyond that I knew little. This was what she'd written in an email a few months ago:

Boy Kel, did I stray. I don't need to get into that because what's done is done and all that, but I can tell you that if ever someone was to go through a selfish phase, I sure had mine. But guess. what. Kel. I'm happy to tell you that about 2 months ago, I renewed my relationship with God!! Praise Jesus!!!!!!!!!!

(I love the multiple exclamation points. Hilarious.) Anyway, this morning in person she focused on how this return got started... It happened near the end of college, when she finally admitted to a deep ache at what she had lost -- the depth of friendships, the support, and the space to share the hard and meaningful stuff.

She made some half-hearted attempts to find a church again, but finally moved and found a worship community that really made sense. She was blown away by the their sensitivity, and crawled back to God. What stood out to me? She could not shake the still, small voice calling her back. And she realized she didn't have to have it all together. In humility, she opened her heart again. And she is so relieved.

We explored a bit as to why she thinks she did what she did after high school... maybe she was angry, and she definitely was insecure, shaken (I found this interesting) by a teacher or two who felt the need to take her down a notch. Anyway, while she has deep regrets, she is also thankful for her return, and the deep assuredness she has that she does not want to wander again.

I mostly listened (smiling the whole time!), but also felt it was important to acknowledge the remorse I really sensed in her words. I told her to let Jesus keep healing the shame, and to not believe the lies of the past. It was time to move forward and regain the calling she once had to lead.

She asked me how I have persevered over the years, and not been too discouraged by the many hard things I've experienced and heard over the years. I paused. Then I thought, Well, actually, I have been deeply discouraged at times, and told her that. But I just camped on what I know -- that it really helps to spend time with the Lord each day, even just a few minutes, to read and pray and reflect on what is really important. And also, as she has rediscovered, to be deeply connected to God's people.

Then she asked what she could read. I showed her a couple of daily emails I receive, that often serve to "stir the pot" of my soul. I pulled out my iPhone and together we read today's excerpt from Henri Nouwen:

A Nonjudgmental Presence To the degree that we accept that through Christ we ourselves have been reconciled with God we can be messengers of reconciliation for others. Essential to the work of reconciliation is a nonjudgmental presence. We are not sent to the world to judge, to condemn, to evaluate, to classify, or to label. When we walk around as if we have to make up our mind about people and tell them what is wrong with them and how they should change, we will only create more division. Jesus says it clearly: "Be compassionate just as your Father is compassionate. Do not judge; ... do not condemn; ... forgive" (Luke 6:36-37). In a world that constantly asks us to make up our minds about other people, a nonjudgmental presence seems nearly impossible. But it is one of the most beautiful fruits of a deep spiritual life and will be easily recognized by those who long for reconciliation.

We simply smiled at each other. It pertained so perfectly to what we'd just been talking about. It was a definite "God thing," and we celebrated.

What did I think about when I got back in the car? That it pays to pursue, as Eugene Peterson teaches, a "long obedience in the same direction." Ironically, the subtitle of that book, first written in 1980 and re-released in 2000, is "Discipleship in an Instant Society." (I guess this whole "as-Christians-we-need-to-slow-down-and-stop-being-so-frantic" thing has been a drumbeat for awhile!)

Regarding this former student, she certainly didn't need judgment from me. The tears in her eyes as we talked about the past few years made it evident to me that she was entirely aware of (and grieving over) the mistakes she'd made. I simply needed to be like the father of the prodigal, running back down the road to greet her as she returned.

As Nouwen says, we need to buck the trend in society (and in the church!) and not make up our minds about other people. May we see each person with the eyes and heart of Christ, and offer unconditional love. In this way, we fulfill our calling to be ambassadors of reconciliation:

So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now!

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation.

So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!” For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ. (2Corinthians 5:16-21)

Whom can you reconnect with and listen to this week?

Christmas is Coming...

2011-12-24T13:16:00.000-08:00

...But the goose isn't getting fat. I'm looking forward to church, then dinner with friends, which will include Christmas carols, kids and laughter. Plus a great meal. This is what I'm bringing.

CHICKPEA & DATE TAGINE
Yeah, yeah, I didn't know what a "tagine" was either when I first saw this recipe. But it's easy enough to find out:

TAGINE: Various Moroccan stews featuring meat or poultry gently simmered with vegetables, olives, preserved lemons, garlic and spices like cumin, ginger, pepper, saffron and turmeric. Tagines are often served with couscous.

"A delicious and flavorful vegetarian stew that comes together in just minutes. The balance of savory and sweet is incredible, and it works really well as leftovers too. Enjoy!" (Thank you Vegetarian Times)

Prep Time: 5 minutes
Cook time: 20 minutes
Yields 4-6 servings

Ingredients:
1 tsp olive oil
1 onion, chopped
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon corriander
1 teaspoon powdered ginger
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
14 oz. can of diced or crushed tomatoes
1/4 cup water
2 cans chickpeas (garbanzo beans), rinsed and drained
10 dates, chopped (I'm using raisins - not a big date fan)
1/4 cup lemon juice
(Though not mentioned in this recipe, I'm also adding a diced carrot & 2-3 small potatoes, diced)
Cilantro and plain yogurt for garnish, if desired

Directions:
1. Start couscous, or if you're gluten-free like me, quinoa or brown rice.

2. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add in the onion and cook 10 minutes until starting to brown.

3. Add in garlic, the spices, the tomatoes, and the water, stir to combine, and cook for another 10 minutes.

4. Finally, add in the chickpeas, dates (raisins), and lemon juice, and keep on the stove until heated through.

Garnish with cilantro if desired, and enjoy!

Mission

2011-12-23T15:13:00.000-08:00

Changes are ahead for me...

Starting in 2012, I will focusing the majority of my work life with the Free Methodist Church in Southern California (this mouthful is better known as the FMCSC). Since last fall I moved to 30 hours per week as the Director of Recruiting and Leadership Development, and starting next month (January), this will increase to 40 hours per week. (I will still be doing some writing, side consulting, and teaching a Mayterm course at Westmont, but I am excited to move into this full-time.) This does mean I had to finish up my role at Providence Hall. For the first time since 1984, I am not working directly with teenagers as my paid vocation. I will still be meeting with some students one-on-one, but this is a significant transition for me. It feels right, but it is certainly bittersweet.

When I tell people about this transition into full-time work with the Free Methodist Church, they get sort of a quizzical look on their faces... "What exactly does that mean?" is the gist of their response. My face brightens every time as I say, "Lots of things!" Honestly, it fits me so well that it doesn't even feel like work most of the time.

But to give a little specificity, I talk about the internship program I direct. This involves networking with faculty and administrators at Azusa Pacific and Westmont to get referrals for interns, and then in turn I contact these referrals to see if they are interested in one of our internships. So far I've connected with over 40 students from these 2 schools, and in the space of 3 days, I've had 10 of them already express a desire to be interviewed. (Hey: feel free to donate some year-end funds to this program -- I could spend hours here telling you how excited I am to be working with such gifted young leaders whom we are training to be pastors, church leaders, scholars at our Free Methodist schools like SPU and APU, and serving as Christians in the marketplace. Go to this link to give. THANK YOU.)

As the Director I also am giving shape to a new missional approach we are calling the West Coast Initiative. There are many moving parts to this that I won't describe right now, but it is shaped in great part by what we see God doing in the church in the "Majority World," (formerly known as the Third World), where explosive church growth is worth studying. In these contexts, churches are expanding at a remarkable rate by being led by bi-vocational pastors and starting incarnationally with cell groups in people's homes. I really am excited by all of it, and am making tremendous connections with church leaders in both Southern and Northern California, Oregon and Washington, not to mention leaders at Christian schools all along the West Coast. All of our work will be based out of our existing Free Methodist Center located at Azusa Pacific. We are re-launching this as The Center for Transformational Leadership at APU early in 2012, and I will be co-directing this center. I am currently visiting APU once a month to maintain new relationships with faculty, administration and students that I have been meeting at a steady rate since last August.

Meanwhile, I am still fortunate enough to be coaching some Free Methodist pastors one-on-one in strategic planning, church growth, leadership development, youth ministry and district leadership (where some pastors give leadership regionally with our other pastors).

Finally (not really, but I don't want to bore you!) I am also assisting in shaping our new social media strategy. I've started up a Twitter account for us -- find us at twitter.com/fmcsc. I've also started a Facebook page at www.facebook.com/fmcsc. We are also really close to re-launching an entirely new website for the FMCSC too, and I will be assisting in providing daily content for that.

On a deeper level though, what drives me to head in this new direction? I have been doing some reading in an obscure but really fine little book that Howard Snyder compiled in 2007 called "Soul Searching the Church: Free Methodism at 150 Years." I first read Howard Snyder years ago when we were reading an amazing book of his that delineated the brilliance of John & Charles Wesley in forming small groups to create massive revival across England that is called The Radical Wesley. I have seen small groups ignite remarkable growth during my entire career, and I can only confirm that the Wesleys got it right!

But only in the last 3 years have I connected most directly with the small group ideas of the Wesleys by being in the Free Methodist Church. I continue to find this church an enchanting synthesis of earnest spiritual formation that is then lived out in corporate social action. (In the old days they apparently called this "personal holiness" and "social holiness.") But working with pastors throughout Southern California has shown me time and again that these Free Methodists put their money where their mouth is. They dearly love Jesus, and they show it best by loving the poor. They reach out to the margins and invite everyone to experience the kingdom.

Snyder and others capture so much of the soul of Free Methodism in this Soul Searching book. Here are a few quotes that sum up my experience so far:

Free Methodists believe the best way to keep the world from invading the church is for the church to invade the world with redemptive purpose. (Book of Discipline, preface)

Accessibility and proximity to the poor clearly meant that Free Methodists were to abolish all separation and distinction within their congregations. It was not charity that they were to offer, but fellowship, advocacy, and justice. (Mark Van Valin, FM pastor)

Seek first, in actual practice, the kingdom of God and its justice now in the present world, understanding that that's where heaven and eternal life begin; where they overlap. (Howard Snyder)

The "comparative failure of Christianity to transform the world" is "because women are not permitted to labor according to their ability, for the spread of the Gospel... If women had been given, since the days of the first Apostles, the same rights as men, this would be quite another world." BT Roberts, founder of Free Methodism, written in 1891.

I feel called to co-labor with this denomination precisely because it feels more like a movement than an institution, though it has existed (with plenty of highs and lows, like anything where humans are involved!) for 150 years. I am blown away that only 1 in 10 Free Methodists live in the US -- we are part of a world church! I am also excited by the doors that have been opening up as I have pursued internships and our new ideas for missional outreach, and I am humbled by those I am able to work with. Like I said earlier, it doesn't even feel like work most of the time.

In the spirit of the holiday films coming out right now, I have to admit that I feel like I'm embarking on something of a "mission impossible"... but thankfully, I am working in the name and power of the one who makes all things possible. I hew closely to the call I hear in these words:

Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. (Isaiah 43:1)

May God be glorified in all I am doing. I pray the same for you.

P.S. For a 5-minute video that really captures what I am experiencing with the Free Methodists, go to "Equality: The Free Methodist Church at 150."

6:8

2011-12-16T08:48:00.000-08:00

As we approach the end of the year, it is easy to spend the bulk of our energy on Christmas shopping, finals for school, shuttles from one holiday party to the next, and tasks that have to be completed by year-end.

I had a good wake-up call this morning as to what really matters. In the midst of juggling bills, to-do's, tests, and parties full of food that is terrible for you, take one minute to quietly, carefully read this passage from Micah 6:

1 Listen to what the LORD says:
“Stand up, plead my case before the mountains;
let the hills hear what you have to say.

2 “Hear, you mountains, the LORD’s accusation;
listen, you everlasting foundations of the earth.
For the LORD has a case against his people;
he is lodging a charge against Israel.

3 “My people, what have I done to you?
How have I burdened you? Answer me.
4 I brought you up out of Egypt
and redeemed you from the land of slavery.
I sent Moses to lead you,
also Aaron and Miriam.
5 My people, remember
what Balak king of Moab plotted
and what Balaam son of Beor answered.
Remember your journey from Shittim to Gilgal,
that you may know the righteous acts of the LORD.”

6 With what shall I come before the LORD
and bow down before the exalted God?
Shall I come before him with burnt offerings,
with calves a year old?
7 Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams,
with ten thousand rivers of olive oil?
Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression,
the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?
8 He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.

John Wesley's comments on this passage bring it home for me... I separate his statements to let their impact linger:

“God has already told you in his word with what you ought to come before him:
To render to every one their due; superiors, equals, inferiors, to be equal to all and oppress none in body, goods, or name.
To be kind, merciful, and compassionate to all, not using severity towards any.
Keep up a constant fellowship with God by humble, holy faith.”

May I not allow the "tyranny of the urgent" to hold my attention and energy captive today and in the next week. Instead, may I fix my eyes on the eternal and truly important things.

Don't forget that Advent is about the spiritual discipline of waiting. Invite your soul to be expectant as you approach this 4th Sunday of the Advent season. What are you waiting for? Are you waiting patiently? Are you pursuing justice, mercy and humility in the meantime?

I finished my morning reading with this verse:

But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD,
I wait for God my Savior;
my God will hear me. (Micah 7:7)

Happy Holidays :)

To The Full

2011-12-10T10:29:00.000-08:00

Thomas Merton wrote,

“The monk does not come to the monastery to ‘get’ something which the ordinary Christian cannot have. On the contrary, he comes there in order to realize and to appreciate all that any good Christian already has. He comes to live his Christian life, and thus to appreciate to the full his heritage as a son of God. He comes in order that he might see and understand that he already possesses everything.”

This reminds me of what I read and wrote about two weeks ago, at the start of Advent. But I am thick-headed, and know that I need to hear the same things again and again... and again. I am no different from the Pharisees in John 10:6-10,

Jesus used this figure of speech, but the Pharisees did not understand what he was telling them. Therefore Jesus said again, “Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. All who have come before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep have not listened to them. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

We have everything we need. EVERYTHING. Make use of that abundance, and quit waiting for something else. Step into the life you have.

Cold Comfort

2011-12-07T18:44:00.000-08:00

A friend and I agreed today that while it is definitely cold these days in Santa Barbara (lows in the 30's at night, mornings very crisp and chilly), this is about as cold as it gets, so we can't really complain...

Nevertheless, I am definitely enjoying the opportunity to cook lots of comfort food. Staying cozy in a warm home at night that smells of good food is an amazing gift, and I do not take it for granted for a moment.

I have posted these recipes before, but I am taking a victory lap once again with 8 winners that others have confirmed are quite tasty. Fire up the oven or pull out the pots and pans. Eat hearty.

Moroccan-Style Stuffed Acorn Squash (Just had it again tonight. Simply glorious)
Butternut Squash Risotto (Oh my heart, this competes with homemade Mac 'n Cheese for primo comfort food)
Arroz Negrito (Black Beans & Rice - similar to Gallo Pinto) (Eat with corn tortillas, stuff this in a burrito, fry up with some eggs at breakfast... It's almost better as leftovers.)
Butternut Squash, Coconut & Lentil Stew (Yes, you are sensing a theme... squash is a favorite. This one is a little different with the coconut curveball thrown in. Mmmmm tasty.)
Polenta Pizza (Sounds crazy, but totally works. The polenta makes for a crust with great texture and flavor).
Vegetable Moo Shu (Perfect way to use up whatever vegetables are in your crisper)
Easy Minestrone Soup (An oldie but a goodie. This is a faithful standby that works when it's 5pm and you haven't figured out what to make for dinner.)
Thai Peanut Sauce on Rice Noodles (YES, PLEASE! This one has sweet 'n savory written all over it. Deeeeeeelicious.)

The Little Ones

2011-12-06T10:15:00.000-08:00

It's December 6. This morning, as I laid in bed and tried to think through my day (and all the stuff I have going this week) I thought to myself, "OK, I need to get serious about Christmas shopping really soon." So far I have not spent 5 seconds thinking about it, but I also do not want to be "that girl," shopping frantically on Dec 23...

As I got going with my day, I read this on Common Prayer for Dec 6:

The original “Old St. Nick” who inspired the tradition of Santa Claus, Nicholas was bishop of Myra in fourth-century Turkey. Little is known about his life except that he entrusted himself to Jesus at an early age and, when his parents died, gave all of their possessions to the poor. While serving as bishop, Nicholas learned of three girls who were going to be sold into slavery by their father. Moved to use the church’s wealth to ransom the lives of these little ones, he tossed three bags of gold through the family’s window. We recall this ancient Christmas gift, even as we remember that 1.2 million children are trafficked each year in the global sex trade today.

This reinforced the point further:

Catherine Booth, co-founder of the Salvation Army and a passionate advocate for children, said, “There is no improving the future without disturbing the present.”

So I feel confronted, in a deep and very good way, to reconsider how I will spend my money on gifts this year. These verses completed my call to action:

One day some parents brought their children to Jesus so he could lay his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples scolded the parents for bothering him.

But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.” And he placed his hands on their heads and blessed them before he left. (Matthew 19:13-15)

How can you change your spending this year to reflect the true history of Christmas? How can I "disturb the present"?

There are so many valuable, multiple causes... I think of International Justice Mission, World Relief, International Child Care Ministries, World Vision... I will be giving to Mission Impact, an organization that I have worked with when I have taken students to Guatemala. I can verify that it is a very solid, reliable organization.

Bottom line: how can you and I truly spend this season differently in the way we spend money? How can your Christmas not be about consumption and instead be about conviction?

Apple Fritter Rings - Triple Wow

2011-12-04T22:03:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure where these little gems have been all my life, but thank goodness they found me. My housemate made them tonight for dessert (she only made a 1/4 batch). They are, flat out, ridiculously good!

APPLE FRITTER RINGS

INGREDIENTS

1/2 c plus 2 tb sugar

3/4 tsp ground cinnamon

2 c buttermilk or milk

4 tsp veg oil, plus 2 c for frying

2 lg eggs, lightly beaten

2 c all-purpose flour (gluten-free flour worked perfectly)

2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp fine salt

4 med tart apples (such as Granny Smith), cored, peeled, cut into 1/2 inch-thick rings

DIRECTIONS

1. In a medium bowl, combine 1/2 c sugar and cinnamon. In another bowl, whisk milk, 4 tsp oil and eggs. Stir in flour, 2 tb sugar, baking powder, and salt.

2. In a large, heavy, high-sided skillet, heat 2 c oil until it registers 375 with a candy thermometer (or if water spatters when you flick drops of it in). In batches, coat apples in batter and fry until golden brown, about 4 minutes per batch, flipping halfway through.

3. Transfer to a paper-towel-lined baking sheet to drain. Toss apples in cinnamon-sugar and serve immediately. MAKES ABOUT 20.

Come Soon

2011-12-04T09:46:00.000-08:00

On the second Sunday of Advent, these readings prepare my heart for gathered worship this morning, and help me to enter the season more attentively:

From Dietrich Bonhoeffer:

Advent is a time of waiting.

Our whole life, however, is Advent--that is, a time of waiting for the ultimate, for the time when there will be a new heaven and a new earth, when all people are brothers and sisters and one rejoices in the words of the angels: "On earth peace to those on whom God's favor rests."

Learn to wait, because he has promised to come. "I stand at the door..." We however call to him: "Yes, come soon, Lord Jesus!"

From Henri Nouwen:

"A shoot shall sprout from the stump of Jesse, and from his roots a bud shall blossom. The spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him . . ." (Isa.11:1-2).

These words from last night's liturgy have stayed with me during the day. Our salvation comes from something small, tender, and vulnerable, something hardly noticeable. God, who is the Creator of the Universe, comes to us in smallness, weakness, and hiddenness.

I find this a hopeful message. Somehow, I keep expecting loud and impressive events to convince me and others of God's saving power; but over and over again I am reminded that spectacles, power plays, and big events are the ways of the world. Our temptation is to be distracted by them and made blind to the "shoot that shall sprout from the stump."

When I have no eyes for the small signs of God's presence - the smile of a baby, the carefree play of children, the words of encouragement and gestures of love offered by friends - I will always remain tempted to despair.

The small child of Bethlehem, the unknown young man of Nazareth, the rejected preacher, the naked man on the cross, he asks for my full attention. The work of our salvation takes place in the midst of a world that continues to shout, scream, and overwhelm us with its claims and promises. But the promise is hidden in the shoot that sprouts from the stump, a shoot that hardly anyone notices.

1John 4:15-16

If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.

As I have often taught to students, God not only loves us... He IS love. He is the source, definition, and embodiment of love. All love comes from him. To know him is to be changed.

I wait patiently, Lord Jesus, yet I yearn so deeply for you to come. During this Advent season, the beginning of our new year, I want to "rely on the love God has for us" and nothing else. I will seek to live life to the fullest every day, not because I think I somehow deserve it, but because I want to be a good steward of the life you have given to me. Thank you for your manna, Lord. You are endlessly generous and good. You are love.

Spiritual Adventure

2011-12-02T09:04:00.000-08:00

This, of course, is what religion is about: this adherence to God, this confident dependence on that which is unchanging. This is the more abundant life, which in its own particular language and own particular way, it calls us to live. Because it is our part in the one life in the whole universe of spirits, our share in the great drive towards Reality, the tendency of all life to seek God, Who made it for Himself, and now incites and guides it, we are already adapted to it, just as a fish is adapted to live in the sea.

This view of our situation fills us with a certain awed and humble gladness. It delivers us from all niggling fuss about ourselves, prevents us from feeling self-important about our own little spiritual adventures; and yet makes them worth while as part of one great spiritual adventure.

... Evelyn Underhill (1875-1941), The Spiritual Life

Slow

2011-11-29T20:27:00.000-08:00

I had a you-can't-make-this-up moment tonight.

My bible study goes out to Isla Vista, a student community next to UC Santa Barbara, once a month. We join our friend Ryan, who has been faithfully doing the laundry of homeless folks out there on the last Tuesday of every month. He calls it Laundry Love. We usually end up washing sleeping bags and many loads of laundry. Ryan has also negotiated a great deal with the Domino's manager next door, and gets a break on pizzas and soda for all the friends there. They get to do their laundry, eat some food and we hang out with them, building relationships through low-key conversation. I'm not gonna lie -- it takes some real self-discipline to get myself there sometimes. There are some tough conversations at times, with folks who are sometimes really at the bottom. Tonight I talked with a woman with 4 children who just cannot take care of them. Another woman simply cannot kick her alcohol addiction. Another man was so absolutely gone mentally it was difficult to watch and I can only wonder how he lives each day.

Tonight, as I stood chatting with someone, a man came up to me. He paused, stared at me, and then burst out, "You used to work at a house on Chino, right?" My eyes went wide. It took me a few moments to gather my thoughts, and then thought, yeah, when I worked for Young Life we had our office in a house behind Calvary Baptist Church, on Pedregosa and Chino. I left Young Life in 1995... so we're talking 15-20 years ago. I said, "Yes, I did. At the Young Life house."

And he said, "You're Kelly. You look exactly the same. I tell my girlfriend about you sometimes. Do you remember me?"

I paused, and thought, heck, I need to be honest. I did not recognize him. But to be easy on myself, in these past 30 years, I would guess I have know many hundreds of kids. But he fixed his eyes on me, and told me many stories of hanging out at the house and going to Wild Life, that is, before he got into a lot of trouble.

For the sake of his privacy, I won't mention the details shared. But he has lived quite a life. He has 4 kids now, and seems to be slowly rebuilding. I visited with him for quite awhile, met his girlfriend and 5 year old son, invited him to church. I really hope he comes. We hugged when I left... I gave a side hug, which is my usual when I am just meeting someone or catching up -- I don't want to overwhelm them. But he swung his other arm around and gave me a tight hug. I rubbed his shaved head and told him how happy I was to see him.

As my day is winding down I pick up my Bible, and read through today's reading in 2 Peter 3. Could it be more appropriate?

But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

I was reminded again that staying in one place is such a powerful thing. We all have our own journeys, but if it is possible for you, I truly recommend staying in one place for the duration. I cannot believe how many amazing things I have seen by being here to see the fruit of seeds planted years before, and to be available to water them at times when they needed a little TLC. More importantly, I was humbled as I tried to imagine how hard it must be for the Lord to wait as we get lost the way my friend did for so many years.

Lord you are good. Thank you that you are not slow in keeping your promise. These verses, used in a worship song, are humming in my head as I think about tonight:

Psalm 36:5 Your love, LORD, reaches to the heavens,
your faithfulness to the skies.
6 Your righteousness is like the highest mountains,
your justice like the great deep.
You, LORD, preserve both people and animals.
7 How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!
People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
8 They feast on the abundance of your house;
you give them drink from your river of delights.
9 For with you is the fountain of life;
in your light we see light.

Everything We Need

2011-11-27T09:26:00.000-08:00

Today marks the first day of Advent, which for us as Christians is the beginning of our new year. So before I continue, allow me to say, "HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

In teaching on Advent last year, both to my high school students and an adult class at church, I refreshed my memory on a few important things about this season:

The circle of the wreath is to remind us of God Himself, His eternity and endless mercy, which has no beginning or end?
The green of the wreath speaks of the hope that we have in God, the hope of newness and eternal life?
The candles are used to symbolize the light of God coming through the birth of His son. The four outer candles represent the period of waiting during the four Sundays of Advent, which themselves symbolize the four centuries of waiting between the prophet Malachi and the birth of Christ.

This is rich stuff!

Advent is not only a reminder of how God-followers waited for Messiah 2,000 years ago; Advent guides us in our own wandering today as we wait for that dear Messiah to come again for us. In other words, it’s not just about the first coming; it’s about his Second Coming too. Advent is intended to be practice for an entire life of “Advent faith,” where we wait daily with hope and expectation.

This verse in my reading of 2Peter 1 this morning gave me great encouragement as I embark on a new year of that life of waiting:

His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. (verses 3-4)

A commentary sums it up perfectly:

In a real sense, to grow in grace is simply to take advantage of what God has already done for us. Peter declares that God, in divine power, has bestowed upon us all the resources we need to reflect his own glory and excellence (1:3), to escape from the impact of a corrupt world, and to participate in God's divine nature (1:4). These resources assume the form of promise, indeed very precious promises (1:4). God promises through his divine power all the resources needed for a growing and deepening Christian life.

It is a remarkable privilege that we get to, somehow, participate in the divine nature through his grace. And as we pursue him, we will grow in "increasing measure" (vs. 8) in becoming more like him. Rather than be mired in my same cyclical, destructive patterns, we have the opportunity to be truly transformed. THIS is good news indeed.

Given that I have followed Christ for many years, I run the risk of just going through Advent and Christmas with a "been there, done that" attitude. Instead, let's push each to embrace the promises offered to us, and to take advantage of the resources at our disposal. I want to remember every day -- I have everything I need. Praise Him.

My List of Leftover Likes

2011-11-26T09:37:00.000-08:00

I have a relatively new relationship with cooking, having only discovered that I really love it when I went on sabbatical for 3 months in November 2008. Finally, after going on a break from a then 27-year career in youth ministry, I found out that life could be more than microwave meals, breakfast-for-dinner and leftover pizza from the youth event the night before.

However, I am not an aspiring chef, nor do I fan through my cookbooks daydreaming of what to make next. Perhaps there is not a fine, haute cuisine name for what I do, but my goal is simply to make it work with whatever is in season. After a visit to local food stands, I surf Mr. Internet for interesting recipes, or even improvise once in awhile. Successful recipes have been posted here previously. It has actually become a form of spiritual discipline... rather than eat whatever sounds good at the moment, I want to enjoy God's provision and eat according to his timing, not mine.

So I see a fridge full of Thanksgiving leftovers as the seasonal manna from heaven that has been provided for this week (or more!). Each meal is a new challenge and experiment. Here is what I have tried so far. I entertain hopes of a dialogue here -- pass on the leftovers recipes that you are using as well:

Lunch yesterday: Turkey salad (diced turkey mixed with 2 tsp of mayo and garlic salt) on toast, topped with just a bit of cranberry spread.
Dinner last night: Turkey & Mashed Potato Pot Pie. To. Die. For.
Breakfast this morning: diced ham (we had both ham and turkey on Thanksgiving) scrambled with eggs.
Anytime: leftover pecan pie (thank you housemate for making it with a gluten-free crust!)

What's ahead? I plan on making a big pot of turkey & rice soup tonight after cooking the carcass for a few hours and getting some broth... Turkey tetrazzini later in the week...

Talk to me - what are you cooking?

My Pretty Library

2011-11-25T17:58:00.000-08:00

The acquisition of a book signalled not just the potential acquisition of knowledge but also something like the property rights to a piece of ground: the knowledge became a visitable place.

James Wood, from "Shelf Life," New Yorker magazine, Nov 7, 2011

The photo to the left is taken from my home office. Looking at it gives me, alternatively, both joy and misery. I love seeing all of my books, but they also look sort of disheveled and sloppy, and I am a little embarrassed for you to see them.

I have a complex relationship with books. I chose to be an English major in college purely because I love to read. It seemed incredible to me that my "job" for four years would be to simply do something I would rather do than nearly anything else.

However, not surprisingly, somewhere during that journey, reading became a bit more of a chore, and nearly 30 years later I have yet to recover a real enjoyment for fiction. I firmly believe it got killed off (not completely, but deeply wounded) when I took not one but two English lit courses and had to consume 17 novels during the ten-week span of an academic quarter. That essentially meant reading two books per week, and it basically did me in.

Upon graduation, I don't think I probably read an entire book for two years. I was burned out, and also very distracted by a full-time job as a technical writer and my first foray into youth ministry as a Young Life volunteer. But fortunately, two things occurred: I heard the horrifying statistic that 42% of all college graduates never finish another book, and I started going to seminary. Both of these situations vaulted me back into my love for reading.

But a love for reading is different than a love for owning books, I believe. For years I shlepped around my many boxes of English major books as I migrated from tiny, cheap apartment to slightly less tiny, slightly less cheap apartment. The books were already beat-up paperbacks to begin with, with massive underlining and highlighting. But I couldn't let them go. I liked having the proof that I had read them.

At some point though I went through some major need to get rid of stuff (perhaps because I have never had a garage), and decided to get rid of all of my books from college, telling myself that a) I didn't need to prove anything anymore and b) I would eventually re-read every book someday and buy them in hardcover in order to do so.

Where in the world I got that second idea is baffling to me. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful that I have read classics like the Odyssey, the complete works of Shakespeare, Milton, Chaucer and the like. I read everything that Jane Austen, Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald and Henry James ever wrote. Large doses of Wordsworth, Hawthorne, Dreiser, Lawrence, Herbert, Coleridge, and Percy can be added as well... And let's not forget I went to seminary too. I have jammed a lot of books in my brain.

But what I have discovered is summarized perfectly in the quote at the beginning. For me, reading is as much as about acquisition as it is about enjoyment. I love holding a book in my hand, and I love putting it on the shelf when I am finished, knowing that I have read it. But the second I am done, I am hungry to acquire more, NEW knowledge. So a paradox rages inside me: I like keeping a book that I have read (though I will most likely never read it again) AND I love acquiring new books!

Indeed, it is not about owning the books themselves. Rather, it is about the opportunities that await! It takes genuine self-discipline on my part to keep myself from buying too many books. I have to limit myself to a certain quota, to be honest. But that gets all thrown off if people choose to give me books, tee hee!

So between the closing of Borders stores and the generosity of friends, I have a delightful pile that beckons me, and that pile never diminishes. I spent years daydreaming about a sabbatical where I would simply read all day, every day. I envisioned chipping away at a glorious pile of all the books I have wanted to read. It was a happy place in my imagination that I returned to regularly. In this magical land, I would stay on that sabbatical until I had read them all...

Ironically, in November 2008 I went on said sabbatical. And I read about 10 books in 3 months. And didn't make more than a little divot in the pile! The sabbatical succeeded in dissuading me of my fantasy. Instead, I have finally realized that the joy is in the journey. I will never "finish" reading all of the books I want to read. And I don't want to anymore. I will just read as much as I can and enjoy every second!

I am going to list my current books that are patiently waiting for me, not because I think it is impressive, but simply because it sheds some light on the "visitable places" where I want to go sometime soon:

Walking the Bible: A Journey by Land Through The Five Books of Moses, by Bruce Feiler.
Movements That Change the World: Five Keys to Spreading the Gospel, by Steve Addison
Istanbul: Memories and the City, by Orhan Pamuk
The Norton Anthology of Poetry
The Multicultural Leader by Dan Sheffield
C.S. Lewis & Francis Schaeffer: Lessons for a New Century from the Most Influential Apologists of Our Time, by Scott Burson and Jerry Walls
Muscular Faith, by Ben Patterson

I will further admit that I keep a list of books I would buy in a New York minute if I got a gift card! (Please do not take this as a hint -- I am simply illustrating my hopeless addiction.) I will spare you the titles.

Instead, please tell me tell me -- do you keep a pile of books too? What are you looking forward to reading? Oh! The places we will go!

By Community

2011-11-14T09:15:00.001-08:00

This is the reading from Henri Nouwen today. It builds perfectly on what I wrote yesterday:

The Fruit of Our Communal Life

Our society encourages individualism. We are constantly made to believe that everything we think, say, or do, is our personal accomplishment, deserving individual attention. But as people who belong to the communion of saints, we know that anything of spiritual value is not the result of individual accomplishment but the fruit of a communal life.

Whatever we know about God and God's love; whatever we know about Jesus - his life, death, and resurrection - whatever we know about the Church and its ministry, is not the invention of our minds asking for an award. It is the knowledge that has come to us through the ages from the people of Israel and the prophets, from Jesus and the saints, and from all who have played roles in the formation of our hearts. True spiritual knowledge belongs to the communion of saints.

Yesterday I was challenged by Hebrews 11 and the call to live "by faith." Today I am reminded that I do not do this alone. It's not a simple matter of pulling myself up by my faith bootstraps and somehow believing harder. It's about pressing in to my church and community of faith. The Bible is a book written to us, not me. I like the way that Hebrews 12 is given in the New Living Translation:

1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.

To live by faith is humanly impossible. Praise God that we are not asked to do it on our own. Through the Spirit and through God's people, may we run the race. It may not always look pretty and athletic, but through His grace, we get there.

By Faith

2011-11-13T17:16:00.000-08:00

Our religion is not a system of ideas about Christ. It is Christ.

... Phillips Brooks (1835-1893)

I received this quote yesterday in my email. The profound simplicity gave me pause.

Is my faith really that straightforward? Do I really just "fix my eyes on Jesus" alone, or do I cling to a set of beliefs, relationships, habits and history?

Philippians 1:20 in the JB Phillips paraphrase calls me out in much the same way:

For living to me means simply "Christ", and if I die I should merely gain more of him.

To agree with Brooks' quote from the beginning, we know, serve and worship a person, the eternal person of God. This is radical, and unlike any other world religion.

On certain days, this reality is clean and clear for me; God feels present, close, and available. On other days (more than I care to admit), I get lost in what if's and how come's and but what about them's. On those days it is so hard to trust in the unknowns, when fears seem so much more real than anything else.

It would be so nice to know the future in order to get through the present. But in my more lucid moments I recognize the same thing that Jack Nicholson barked to Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men:

You can't handle the truth!

In my old age I have to come to know that it is nearly always better to not know the future, because I couldn't have handled knowing it ahead of time anyway! God reveals things to us as we are able to take them in.

That was the jumble of thoughts that poured out of my mind as I read Hebrews 11 last night before I went to bed. These were the verses that stood out the most:

All these people died still believing what God had promised them. They did not receive what was promised, but they saw it all from a distance and welcomed it. They agreed that they were foreigners and nomads here on earth. Obviously people who say such things are looking forward to a country they can call their own. If they had longed for the country they came from, they could have gone back. But they were looking for a better place, a heavenly homeland. That is why God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them. (verses 13-16)

Sure, I've read these words before. But in that amazing way that only scripture, the living Word, can do, it was as if I had never seen them. To believe in something does not make it happen. Faith is comprised in believing in the Giver, not what He gives. As it says so succinctly in verse 1, "Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see."

In affluent, can-do America, this is a difficult pill to swallow. We want rock-solid guarantees before we commit. But Jesus asks us to put skin in the game solely on his words, his promise, his power and life. We must live by faith, not by sight. Otherwise, let's be honest: it's not faith. As Oswald Chambers says, “Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One who is leading.”

To quote the desperate father in Mark 9, "I do believe. Help me overcome my unbelief." Amen.

Rainy Day Cooking

2011-11-11T21:10:00.000-08:00

I am not tired of cooking with the squash of the fall, so today, as my way of unwinding from the week, I returned to my big-bottomed friend, the butternut squash, for another recipe. Oh me oh my. This recipe really worked. It was very easy, very tasty, very filling. It sort of had that same effect that really good homemade mac 'n cheese has. I wonder if the color orange has some sort of narcotic effect....

The house was filled with warm and yummy smells and all felt right with the world.

BUTTERNUT SQUASH RISOTTO

Serves 4

Ingredients

2 cups roasted butternut squash, mashed (usually 1/2 a roasted squash; save the other half and make a soup or another batch of this recipe!)

2 tablespoons butter

1 tsp minced garlic

1/2 onion, minced

1 cup Arborio rice

1/3 cup dry white wine

3 cups hot chicken stock

1 tsp rubbed sage

1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese

2 heaping tablespoons cream cheese, if you've got it (Greek yogurt works too)

salt and ground black pepper to taste (up to 1/2 tsp each)

Diced tomatoes for garnish

Additional vegetables work great: I've added mushrooms, zucchini, arugula or bell peppers to this recipe as well. Carrots would work too, though I hate them and would not add them myself.

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cut butternut squash in half and lay face-down on a cookie sheet that has been coated with a thin film of olive oil or sprayed with Pam cooking spray. Roast squash for one hour. (Can be done ahead of time).

Melt butter in a saucepan over medium-high heat. Add onion and garlic; cook and stir for 2 minutes until the onion begins to soften, then stir in the rice. Continue cooking and stirring until the rice is glossy from the butter, and the onion begins to brown on the edges, about 5 minutes more. (Add additional vegetables at this point if you want; saute until translucent)

Pour in the white wine; cook, stirring constantly, until it has evaporated. Stir in the mashed squash and 1/3 of the hot chicken stock; reduce heat to medium. Add rubbed sage and salt. Cook and stir until the chicken stock has been absorbed by the rice, 5 to 7 minutes. Add half of the remaining chicken stock, and continue stirring until it has been absorbed. Finally, pour in the remaining stock, and continue stirring until the risotto is creamy. Finish by stirring in the Parmesan cheese and cream cheese (or Greek yogurt), and season to taste with salt and pepper. Top with some diced tomatoes.

Motto

2011-11-01T11:38:00.000-07:00

Today at school I taught on Mark 12. At first glance, it's a dense chapter full of conflict and confrontation between Jesus and his opponents.

In the spirit of October being chock full of college applications and letters of recommendation for our seniors, I started our message today with a look at the university mottos of schools where my past students have gone. The mottos are rather stunning, really ~ here's a sampling of what I shared:

Brown University: In deo speramus = "In God We Hope"
Dartmouth College: Vox clamantis in deserto = "A Voice Crying Out in the Wilderness"
Johns Hopkins University: Veritas vos liberabit = "The Truth Will Set You Free"
Northwestern University: Quaecumque Sunt Vera = "Whatsoever Things Are True"
University of California: Fiat Lux = "Let There Be Light"

I simply asked the students this morning, "What stands out to you?" One of them blinked slowly and said, "These are all verses from the Bible."

"Exactly! What does that tell you?"

"That these used to be Christian schools."

Indeed. Each one of these prestigious universities were begun by earnest followers of Christ who wanted, as believers, to seek after knowledge and truth, understanding God's creation and calling.

From there I pointed out that it is so easy to stray from our mission. We always start our projects and commitments with a genuine desire to fulfill them. But over time, we can slowly shift and get distracted from the initial goal. What are our goals as Christians? As believers, our "motto" can be simple: Seek first the kingdom of God. Yet how often do we stray from that?

We spent the rest of the time in class reading in Mark 12. I asked them to look for a thread that ran throughout the chapter...

When I read it, what stood out to me is that time and again, in multiple and incredibly creative ways, is that Jesus calls his listeners to their priorities. "What matters most to you?" is what I hear him saying in each of these encounters. For example, in the classic "Render to Caesar what is Caesar's" section, what he is forcing his enemies to face is whether they will cling to power, or cling to God.

In the trick questions about marriage at the resurrection, he is calling them at their bluff (the Sadducees didn't even believe in the resurrection), and reminding them that it is our relationship with Jesus that will last eternally, beyond our relationships on earth. Yet whom do I love most?

In the final poignant scene with the widow and her tiny (yet heartfelt) offering, he reminds me that my hope is only found in Him, not in money or possessions.

One of the first worship choruses I learned in the 70's was

Seek Ye First the Kingdom of God,
And His Righteousness.
And All These Things Shall Be Added Unto You,
Allelu, Alleluia.

Simple, but true. May this be my "motto," and may I never stray from it.

October Comfort Food, Part 2

2011-10-29T20:17:00.001-07:00

Tis the Season o' Squash, so at the local organic stand this week I bought yet another butternut squash and then also an acorn squash... honestly not knowing what I would do with it. But I am committed to eating whatever is in season ~ I see this as part of thankfully receiving God's provision (in other words, I don't want to be like the ungrateful Israelites on the exodus, when God provided manna and they whined about it...)

I had only eaten acorn squash as a nice little side dish during the holidays. And it was pretty darn good. But I knew this little squash had more in her than that. And one little surfing jaunt on the internet proved me correct. The texture, taste, aroma and yes, I'll say it again, the lovely combination of savory and sweet, of this dish had me at hello. Enjoy!

MOROCCAN-STYLE STUFFED ACORN SQUASH

Serves 4

Ingredients

2 tablespoons brown sugar

1 tablespoon butter, melted

2 large acorn squash, halved and seeded

2 tablespoons olive oil

2 cloves garlic, chopped

2 stalks celery, chopped

2 carrots, chopped

1 cup garbanzo beans, drained

1/2 cup raisins

1 1/2 tablespoons ground cumin

salt and pepper to taste

1 (14 ounce) can chicken broth

1 cup uncooked couscous (my gluten-free needs prompted me to use quinoa)

Crumbled feta for garnish

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).

Arrange squash halves cut side down on a baking sheet. Bake 40 minutes, or until tender.

Dissolve the sugar in the melted butter. Brush squash with the butter mixture, and keep squash warm while preparing the stuffing.

Heat the olive oil in a skillet over medium heat. Stir in the garlic, celery, and carrots, and cook 5 minutes. Mix in the garbanzo beans and raisins. Season with cumin, salt, and pepper, and continue to cook and stir until vegetables are tender.

Pour the chicken broth into the skillet, and mix in the couscous. Cover skillet, and turn off heat. Allow couscous to absorb liquid for 5 minutes. Stuff squash halves with the skillet mixture to serve. Top with crumbled feta. Chew slowly and savor (instead of inhaling it, as I did...)

October Comfort Food

2011-10-24T18:55:00.000-07:00

Cool weather + autumn colors = lots o' squash for me.

The butternut squash makes me laugh... it looks like Mr. Potato Head, but with all of his weight moved down to his butt.

Though it is a prosaic-looking vegetable, its taste more than makes up for it. In one word, it is DELICIOUS. Best of all, in multiple ways. I've used butternut squash for soups, stews, pasta sauces, and even filling for enchiladas. Friends have used it for the obvious - baby food - and also for desserts. Its texture, taste and color are simply wonderful.

I had used half of a baked one this weekend for a pasta dish (shoot, I'm realizing I haven't posted that recipe yet...) and had the other half looking at me every day in the fridge. What to do, what to do... it was another cool and foggy day here in Santa Barbara town, so I felt like making some stew. All I had to do was google butternut and stew, and found a wealth of options. Fortunately, I chose well, because tonight's meal was splendid. Even better, it was so easy.

The key to keeping this meal prep easy is to bake the squash ahead of time = if you have never done that, go here. The directions on this page however, say to pour 1/4 c of water. I would say to pour enough water to have the squash sitting in 1 inch of water.

BUTTERNUT SQUASH, COCONUT & LENTIL STEW

Serves 6-8

Ingredients

1 cup yellow split pigeon peas (toor dal) (OK, I call these yellow lentils. Not sure why they need to call them pigeon peas. That name sounds creepy.)

1 pound butternut squash, peeled, cut into 1/2-inch cubes (about 2 1/2 cups)

1 Roma tomato, diced

1/2 cup fresh, frozen, or dried shredded coconut

1/2 teaspoon turmeric

1/2 teaspoon ground cumin

4 cups vegetable stock or water, or enough to cover

Tempering:

2 tablespoons canola oil

1 teaspoon brown or black mustard seeds

1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes (I used a few drops of my favorite hot sauce)

1 clove garlic, minced

1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt

1 tablespoon honey

1 lime, juiced

1/2 cup minced fresh cilantro leaves

Directions

Steam a pot of white or brown rice.

Rinse the pigeon peas (LENTILS!) in a couple changes of water.

In a large soup pot, combine the squash, drained pigeon peas, tomato, coconut, turmeric, cumin, and enough stock to cover. Bring to a boil, and then simmer, covered, 20 minutes. Remove the cover and simmer another 10 minutes.

To temper: In a small skillet, warm the canola oil until shimmering. Add the mustard seeds and when they stop popping, add the red pepper flakes, garlic, and salt. Swirl the skillet so the contents cook evenly, and cook another 10 seconds. Then pour the contents of the skillet into the soup, along with the salt. Spoon a ladleful of soup back into the skillet (it will sizzle, be careful!), and pour back into the soup pot.

I topped the stew with a little honey, lime juice, raisins, yogurt, peanuts and cilantro. Adjust the seasonings, to taste, and enjoy filling your belly with some tasty, warm, salty and sweet stew that might end up making you look a tiny bit more like a butternut squash!

Simple

2011-10-23T21:10:00.000-07:00

(I was asked to testify in church today about my own experience with the spiritual discipline of simplicity. Here is what I said...)

When I was asked to share this morning on simplicity, I hesitated. If you know me at all, you know that I didn't hesitate because I am shy! I hesitated because I think of simplicity the same way I think of humility...

You know what I mean. In those rare times when God works in and through you to such a point where you actually do some kind and godly thing and it feels so great, you might say to yourself, WOW, I was just really humble right then! and the whole darn thing gets nullified right then and there... THAT is how I think it works with simplicity. It's something you live out, not point out, in yourself.

However, as Richard Foster says in his classic book The Celebration of Discipline, The majority of Christians have never seriously wrestled with the problem of simplicity, conveniently ignoring Jesus' many words on the subject. So I will run the risk of nullifying my pursuit of simplicity today for the sake of greater discussion.

What do I mean by "simplicity" as a spiritual discipline? Foster says it is an inward reality that results in an outward lifestyle. In other words, as we seek first His kingdom (Matthew 6:33) rather than seeking first after career or status or wealth or power, that singular focus on Christ should then flow out in and through our daily lives.

How did I come to practice this discipline? I backed into it. In February 2009 I resigned from a 15-year position as a youth pastor here in town, from a church in which I'd been a member for 23 years altogether. This decision was the right one, but it was so difficult, nonetheless. I needed time to wait on God for what was to be next, and to recover from the jarring transition that it was, so I had saved some money to do so.

However, in my immaculate timing I made this decision one month before the historic financial collapse hit bottom! Amidst daily news of gloom and doom I tried not to panic, but also decided I needed to dramatically pare down my budget, not sure when I would be employed full-time again. Thus I declared 2009 to be The Year of Living Simply. I decided to buy nothing new (other than food). I refrained from spending money on entertainment - movies, books, music, eating out and travel. I let magazine subscriptions expire. I stopped buying gifts and just sent cards (sorry friends). This took a third out of my budget!

As I stuck to this approach, I learned three things rather quickly:

It just wasn't that hard. That sounds crazy, but once I got over the hump of this seemingly hard decision, I discovered that I wasn't suffering. Richard Foster quotes the famous Arctic explorer Richard Byrd, who lived through months of deprivation in his travels to the North Pole: I am learning... that a man can live profoundly without masses of things. Indeed, I discovered the same. Once you wean yourself off the constant acquisition of stuff, you realize it's all rather fleeting in its satisfaction.
I was much more grateful for what I received. Once you orient yourself around God's provision rather than thinking of it all as the fruit of your own labors, you see everything as a generous gift! The novelty of something new regained its meaning. When someone had me over for a meal, or took me out for coffee, or gave me a gift, I delighted in every part of it, since these things came less often.
My default became "Why?" instead of "Why not?" When I faced the decision as to whether to buy something or not, now I operated from the assumption that I would not be getting it, and was forced (by my own decision) to think through what I "needed." Rather than get something just because I had the money or because everyone else already had one, I jumped off the treadmill and thought through my spending far more carefully.

Let's be clear -- I am not advocating some dreadful legalism that disdains enjoyment. God wants us to enjoy his provision and his creation. But I was now recognizing how much of my joy came from stuff rather than from God himself and from the people and things he provided already.

Needless to say, I had more free time since I wasn't busying myself as I had previously. I spent some of that new time reading up on monasticism and benedictine spirituality. Monks take vows of poverty and/or simplicity -- they hold belongings in common, because they believe that the more possessions you have, the more those things possess you! They meditate regularly on this passage from Matthew 6:

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
22 “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. 23 But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!

24 “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I am happy to say that after my Year of Living Simply that I am now quite gainfully employed. But that year instilled some good habits in me. So I am trying to pursue this spiritual discipline of simplicity in ongoing ways:

When I buy something new, I give something away. For example, when I buy a new pair of shoes, I give away a pair.
As I have mentioned here previously, I sold my car about a year ago. I now use my scooter, my bike, and public transportation (with occasional rides from friends). This slows me down and often forces me to think through how many things I try to do in a given day.
I eat seasonally. I love, love, LOVE red bell peppers and could eat them every day. And in 2011, I can eat them every day, thanks to hot houses in South America and semi-truck trailers hauling food all over tarnation. But I choose to eat red bell peppers when they are in season where I live. By eating seasonally I am reminded to enjoy God's provision in God's timing. Sometimes he gives us things to enjoy, and sometimes he asks us to wait. And it is often in the waiting, and anticipation, that I learn how to deeply enjoy the things he gives me.

I shared this earlier this year, but here is the way that I remember this spiritual discipline of simplicity. It's an adaptation of the 3 R's of Reduce, Reuse, Recycle...

I say Repent (of my materialism), Reduce, Reuse, Refuse (to try to keep up with everyone else, and just buy the things I truly need), Recycle.

Tell me what you think... thanks for listening!

Writing Projects

2011-10-12T10:32:00.000-07:00

I'm here to report, as a former English major, that I am glad I have never entertained notions of actually making a living as a writer. After 3 years of concerted effort to get my work published, I can say that I have had many articles (at least 30?) accepted and published. I've listed some of the links on my blog.

But I hesitate though to add up how much money I have made doing this. I would venture it hovers around $1,000... in total! Yet I cannot deny that I enjoy it immensely. It is great to work with editors, figure out how to work within deadlines and word limits, and be creative with what topics are given to me. Writing is a craft I want to continue to work at and improve upon. And again, while my other work pays the bills, it is gratifying to see thoughts and experiences turn into words. I will never get tired of that.

I have an eclectic assortment of stuff right now -- some has just been released, some is still pending. Here is what is in the hopper at present:

Tweets, Texts, Technology... and Theology: my first cover story! This was published in Light & Life magazine, a national and international magazine produced by the Free Methodist Church. (I'll try to find a link to the Spanish-language version of my article and post it here as well). This goes out to the thousands of churches around the country, and is also shared around the world.
Augustine's Confessions - Still Going Deeper: I was contacted by Immerse Journal to write a response article for one of their articles. I have been impressed with the deeper content they provide here.
It Happens - Dealing with Everyday Stuff in Youth Ministry: I was contacted by the general editor, Will Penner, and asked to contribute a chapter to this book. I told a great story about having to decide whether or not to take a student to the hospital after being injured during a night game at camp, and what I learned about safety and youth ministry (which should not be mutually exclusive terms!)
Conversations Journal: I have just been asked to be a contributing blogger to this incredible online publication committed to spiritual formation. This is an outstanding resource for a wide variety of work on discipleship. Bookmark this website -- you will not be disappointed by the breadth and depth of content there.
YMToday: this is a really useful youth ministry resource produced by Memphis Seminary. They have archived a bunch of my work. We are in discussions about me writing a monthly column for them on spiritual formation for youthworkers.
Youthworker Journal: I appreciate the quality of their publication, and I am indebted to them for being the first ones to accept my work. I have another article coming out with them soon on turning "doctrine into devotion through small group ministry." Here are most of the articles I have written for them.

While the bulk of these articles are not lofty creations, they emerge out of the many adventures and struggles I have had over the years. I am grateful that I am still standing, and that I am still learning.

I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions. ~James Michener

Mammoth Diaries, Buh-Bye

2011-10-09T20:21:00.001-07:00

Not much left to say... this trip was a delight all the way around. Snow on the first day left the whole area picturesque and made for a crisp welcome into fall. Warm weather after that allowed for lots of time outdoors in long walks where we could admire the leaves turning and look at the sunlight shaft through the trees at the end of each day.

I had plenty of time to read, reflect, pray, eat well and just turn OFF. I feel great, and so refreshed for the many projects and adventures that await me these next several months. Best of all, I am so happy to go back home, because life there is wonderful. I am inordinately blessed, and ridiculously thankful.

We always thank God for all of you and continually mention you in our prayers. We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.

(1Thessalonians 1:2-3)

God, you never fail to dazzle us with your grace and mercy. We pray for the boldness to await the fulfillment of life that you promise, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

(Common Prayer)

Mammoth Diaries, Day Three

2011-10-08T20:24:00.001-07:00

* Sleep in -- check.

* Big latte to start the day -- check.

* Two hours of unhurried reading after a big hot breakfast -- check.

* 4.5 mile walk on trails around Lake Mary -- check.

Pretty darn glorious day up here. I am giving myself an A+ when it comes to vacationing...

An unexpected surprise on this trip has been a book I threw in my bag at the last minute. During a visit to a used bookstore in June I found a tattered orange copy of The Monastic Journey by Thomas Merton, written in 1978. I have read Merton occasionally in these last three years as I read books on Benedictine spirituality and authors like Nouwen, Palmer, Willard, Foster... Merton's writings would come up at times in my reading, and I got curious.

Thomas Merton was the son of artists, born in 1915, with a fascinating, curious past, who became a monk. I read his autobiography, The Seven Storey Mountain, during my trip to Italy this past spring because I had heard it told of his conversion experience. I was not disappointed. First of all, he is a very literary, imaginative writer, and tells a good story. I couldn't put it down, and was surprised to be intrigued as well by his calling to monasticism.

That isn't to say I agreed with everything he wrote... but that would be boring to only read people you agree with, right?

Currently I am only about sixty pages into this new (new to me, that is) book, because I find myself lingering over the things he writes. I do not feel called to live apart from the world, cloistered and comtemplative; I want to be out in the world, preaching and teaching, learning and struggling with what it means to be part of the church's mission. But the only way I know how to persevere in that often gritty job over time is to keep going deeper and deeper into intimacy with God. Merton describes that pilgrimage in compelling ways. For example:

The monastic life is a search for God and not a mission to accomplish this or that work for souls.

I find myself on that same search. Intimacy with the Lord is not a task to check off of a list. It is relationship and as Merton describes it, a life in the Spirit... in which we are moved not by our own desires, tastes, aptitudes, feelings and nature, but by the will and love of God.

There are many other sentences I could quote, but this one especially humbled me:

To have a truly spiritual life is then to think and love and act not just as Christ would act in a given situation, but as He precisely does act, by His grace, in us, at the moment.

After being immediately reminded of the "What Would Jesus Do?" bracelets and chuckling, I realized, wait a minute, he's right, I do not want to act like Jesus... I want to be Jesus wherever I go -- not in a self-aggrandizing way, naturally -- but be his hands, his feet, his words, his love, to others. With the grace of His Spirit in me, this should be possible. Merton underscores this point by quoting from 1 Corinthians 2:

We have received God’s Spirit (not the world’s spirit), so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us. (verse 12)

Do I live in such confidence? Do I readily share such "wonderful things"?

Finally, this short paragraph hit me hardest -- I'm adding a little of my own running commentary in parentheses or emphasis in bolding:

The monk (and I would say, the follower of Christ) does not in fact, exist to preserve anything, be it even contemplation or religion itself. His (or her) function is not to keep alive in the world the memory of God. God depends on no one to live and act in the world, not even on His monks! On the contrary, the function of the monk in our time is to keep himself alive by contact with God.

It is never I who am helping out God when I serve; it is, and always will be, God's great mercy in allowing us to serve Him, because I know Him more intimately as a result.

I will keep reading and thinking and praying about such things up here, where it is quiet and still blanketed in a light layer of snow. I am grateful for such refreshing times.

(Today's featured photo was taken by my iPhone at Convict Lake. We stopped here to remember our sweet friend Claire, whose ashes were strewn here about a year ago. It was the perfect spot.)

Mammoth Diaries, Day Two

2011-10-07T18:04:00.000-07:00

Hands down, my favorite thing about vacation is having unlimited time. It's wonderful to just let the day happen. I get to sleep whenever I want to, read for hours, listen to podcasts, enjoy creation, and cook. It may not sound fun to you, but this is glorious stuff for me.

Today's photo comes from June Lake, where my friend and I relaxed all day at the Double Eagle Resort. It just does not get better than this, and all for only $20 for the entire day. Huzzah!

At one point (gosh, was it before the fish taco lunch or after the hot tub...?) I listened to an interesting podcast that included Tom Friedman, New York Times columnist and author. Maybe you know that he wrote a book titled The World is Flat in 2004 (about globalization in the new millennium). He has just come out with a new book, and while he was writing it, he looked back to his 2004 edition of The World is Flat and compared the realities of what he wrote with life only seven years later today. He said:

I looked under "F" in the index in the first edition, and Facebook wasn't in there... Twitter was a sound, the cloud was in the sky, 4G was a parking place, Linked-in was a prison, applications were what you sent to college, and for most people, skype was a typo...

Clearly, technology is changing our lives at a mind-boggling pace. Friedman's drumbeat was that the entire world is connected now, more than ever, and he wasted no time in describing the profound implications in every way, shape and form for our lives and for the whole planet. He predicted some pretty dire things for our country if politicians don't stop wrangling over their differences... but that is for someone else to blog about.

What I thought about was the fact that while pundits are making a whole lotta hay about this new reality (the whole world can talk to each other so easily, leveling the playing field economically), that the kingdom of God has already been this "flat" for 2000 years! Whether believers are in Moombai or Miami, the Holy Spirit unites them across geography, cultures and time zones. This is wonderful and amazing, to say the least.

In light of that higher reality, Friedman's words were an interesting counterpoint to what I had read this morning, again from the prophet Jeremiah:

This is what the Lord says: 

“Don’t let the wise boast in their wisdom, 

or the powerful boast in their power, 

or the rich boast in their riches. 

But those who wish to boast 

should boast in this alone: 

that they truly know me and understand that I am the Lord 

who demonstrates unfailing love 

and who brings justice and righteousness to the earth, 

and that I delight in these things. 

I, the Lord, have spoken! (Jeremiah 9:23-24)

In no way do I want to dismiss the discussion regarding the changes going on in our world today. I actually care very much about how the economies of India, China, and others are changing. It is fascinating stuff. But at the same time, I try to constantly remind myself that I do not want to place my faith in my pension or my government as much as I want to rest in the Lord who demonstrates unfailing love and who brings justice and righteousness to the earth. It is profoundly comforting to know, furthermore, that God delights in these things.

Imagine what could happen if the church around the world -- don't forget, it is more interconnected than the internet, people! -- truly embraced these words from Colossians 3:1-4,

Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory.

I want to imagine that vision because of the implications. As I kept reading in verses 5-17, I was reminded that the results would have far greater impact than Facebook, Twitter, and all the rest combined. Think about it -- what if billions sought to "put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you" (vs. 5), and instead "put on our new nature" (vs. 10)? What if all Christians (roughly 1/3 of the world's population) were to "make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends"? (vs. 13) Transformation.

How I pray that God's people around the world would "clothe themselves in love." (vs 14) We can certainly be in awe of the profound changes ripping through today's world. But I hope we are not so impressed by iPhones and the cloud and all that rest that we forget our greatest challenge: "Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives." (vs. 17)

Mammoth Diaries, Day 1

2011-10-06T21:18:00.000-07:00

I am nestled in a warm cabin for five glorious days of rest and pure relaxation. Unexpectedly, we were greeted by early snow -- the first of the season. After a week of 70's and 80's at home, this is a pleasant shock!

The snowfall muffles everything with its pillowy calm. I spent the morning drinking coffee and reading various things. In my devotions, I landed in the Book of Jeremiah.

Jeremiah 6:16

This is what the Lord says:
“Stop at the crossroads and look around.
Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it.
Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls.
But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’

That last line is a killer. I don't want to be like Israel in Jeremiah's time. It's the opening lines of this message beckon me. Lord, I do ask for the "old, godly way," and certainly want to walk in it.

So what is the "old, godly way"?

Jeremiah 7:1-7

The Lord gave another message to Jeremiah. He said, “Go to the entrance of the Lord’s Temple, and give this message to the people: ‘O Judah, listen to this message from the Lord! Listen to it, all of you who worship here! This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, the God of Israel, says:

“‘Even now, if you quit your evil ways, I will let you stay in your own land. But don’t be fooled by those who promise you safety simply because the Lord’s Temple is here. They chant, “The Lord’s Temple is here! The Lord’s Temple is here!”

But I will be merciful only if you stop your evil thoughts and deeds and start treating each other with justice; only if you stop exploiting foreigners, orphans, and widows; only if you stop your murdering; and only if you stop harming yourselves by worshiping idols. Then I will let you stay in this land that I gave to your ancestors to keep forever.

Stunning words. This is all the more poignant for me because just yesterday I had a discussion with 70 high school students on this very topic. I am currently teaching on the Gospel of Mark in my class, and yesterday we were in Mark 7, where Jesus confronts the legalism of the Pharisees with surprising anger. He shames them boldly and then turns to the crowds, inviting them to hear:

“All of you listen,” he said, “and try to understand. It’s not what goes into your body that defiles you; you are defiled by what comes from your heart.” (Mark 7:14-15)
One of the students said she doesn't like it when she is at church, or in school, and there are things being taught about God, but her mind and heart are somewhere else entirely. I pulled out an old tired (but still true) youth pastor-ism in response:
"Going to church (or a Christian school) makes you a Christian as much as going to McDonald's makes you a hamburger."
Certainly not an original thought, especially now when I read Jeremiah's prophecy from thousands of years ago, where he confronted the Israelites for the same thing! They found shallow comfort in going to the temple, hoping their presence there would cover a multitude of sins. In the same way, we must recognize that the ways we love (or don't love) our neighbor say much more about the states of our souls.

God told Jeremiah to tell God's people that we must admit that we cannot say we love God if the fruit of that love is not overflowing into our relationships and our communities. God was (and is!) angry with His people for not serving the poor, and for worshiping false gods. Perhaps we do not offer burnt offerings to other gods in 2011, but we certainly sit at the altars of things that we think will meet our needs... (can anyone say, iPhone 5?)

I kept reading this morning in Jeremiah, though I was feeling more convicted by the minute.

Jeremiah 8:6-7
I listen to their conversations and don’t hear a word of truth.
Is anyone sorry for doing wrong?
Does anyone say, “What a terrible thing I have done”?
No! All are running down the path of sin
as swiftly as a horse galloping into battle!
Even the stork that flies across the sky
knows the time of her migration,
as do the turtledove, the swallow, and the crane.
They all return at the proper time each year.
But not my people!
They do not know the Lord’s laws.
Lord, like storks, turtledoves, swallows and cranes, may we "migrate" back to you, our true home. May our hearts and minds be warm for your presence and your calling on our lives. And may that time in your presence, where we pay attention to your still, small voice, prompt us to go out and be your love in the world.

7,000

2011-09-30T21:11:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week this quote landed in front of me:

"'I have reserved me seven thousand.' I love the worshippers unknown to the world and to the very prophets."
... Blaise Pascal (1623-1662), Pensees (Thoughts) [1660]

I paused. Two different things went through my mind. First of all, I was reminded of that powerful story in 1 King 19 to which Pascal is referring. After triumphantly confronting the 450 false prophets in chapter 18, Elijah turns tail and runs in terror from the threats of Queen Jezebel. It makes a rollicking good story.

The description of his encounter with God in the cave as he quivers in fear, whining away, is remarkable -- utterly lyrical.

But the Lord said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

Elijah replied, “I have zealously served the Lord God Almighty. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed every one of your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.”

“Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.

And a voice said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

He replied again, “I have zealously served the Lord God Almighty. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed every one of your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.”

Then the Lord told him, “Go back the same way you came, and travel to the wilderness of Damascus. When you arrive there, anoint Hazael to be king of Aram. Then anoint Jehu son of Nimshi to be king of Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from the town of Abel-meholah to replace you as my prophet. Anyone who escapes from Hazael will be killed by Jehu, and those who escape Jehu will be killed by Elisha! Yet I will preserve 7,000 others in Israel who have never bowed down to Baal or kissed him!” (1Kings 19:10-18)

I have read this story several times. My bible is replete with underlines and highlights here. But somehow I managed to miss that a poignant question is not asked once, but twice:

What are you doing here, Elijah?

How often do I get in really hard circumstances, and my first, second and even third response is to play the victim card? Looking at Elijah's pathetic arguments, I see how sometimes I too show up to pray before God -- but I am not really asking for help. If I was, I would shut up and listen. Instead, I rattle off the ways I have been wronged and try to justify my case.

Elijah is righteously indignant, and believes himself to be the only one who has really stood up for God. God reminds him that there is far more to the story than what Elijah can see.

Which takes me to the second thing I thought of when I read this quote. Earlier this week I was at a conference with over 100 other Free Methodist pastors and leaders from Southern California. While I know many of them, I didn't know the majority of them. Eight different languages are preached among the churches represented in this group. I was reminded yet again that the kingdom of God is full of workers and churches and activity that I will never know about. The majority of God's people labor in complete anonymity, faithfully serving their neighborhood and families.

But God knows them. He sees it all. So when I show up in prayer, I need to remember that simple question:

What are you doing here, Kelly?

Do I want to find out what plans God has, or do I just want to continue asking him to rubber stamp my efforts? Do I want to participate in his kingdom, or just be the Master of My Own Agenda?

Lord, thank you for your grace. You are patient and so kind. Thank you that you persist in speaking through the sounds of the gentle whisper, regardless of how little I pay attention, rather than yelling at me. Open my eyes that I may see the larger, greater things that you are doing.

Buddy 10K

2011-09-24T12:38:00.001-07:00

Today is cause for celebration in my little world. This past month I clocked 10,000 miles on my Buddy 125 Italia scooter. I decided it was time for a little makeover... a new front whitewall tire, new grips (apparently my hands are quite dirty when I drive!?), new floormat, and time for an oil change.

The timing of this is perfect in that within a few days I also mark one year without a car!

I know I am redundant in recounting the many perks I see to living this way, but here are some ones I have noticed recently:

This will mean most to locals... but I drive to Westmont once a week now to meet with students and staff. In a car I would take the freeway to get there; but on my scooter I take Foothill to APS, where I get a 270 degree view of Santa Barbara, the harbor and the Mesa. You make the call -- which drive is prettier!?
It costs me $4.57 to fill up right now. (Should I mention that includes the fact that I gas up on premium?) I spend about $15/month on gas.
Driving a scooter is a social experience. A week does not go by where someone doesn't talk to me at stoplights. Windows roll down and people chat with me... pedestrians at street corners talk about weather or how cute my bike looks... and my favorite is Harley riders, who give me a familiar head flick as I drive past them, or even better, two fingers down...
I really do think transportation alternatives like this are part of the future. I heard a crazy statistic today on NPR: From 1975 to the present (36 years), 1.5 million people have died in car accidents. From 1775 to the present (236 years), 1.3 million Americans have died in warfare.
Buddy keeps me living a simpler lifestyle. I cannot carry as much on it, so trips to Costco and the grocery store are cheaper, and impulse purchases are greatly minimized, since I always have to pause to consider whether I can transport it home. Granted, I may lack the imagination of scooter riders in foreign lands, but for me, I like the way I am forced to pause before I spend mo' money.

I cannot end this post without thanking the friends who help to make it work for me to own the Buddy... most significantly my housemate, who allows me to borrow her car a couple of times a month on rainy days or for late night meetings, and gives me rides from time to time. But also other friends who have taken me to and from the train station or to work, or have been willing to adjust social plans because of my self-imposed transportation options.

It's a good time I tell you. I just noticed, as I was leaving the Kawasaki dealer who sold me the Buddy and services it, that there is a new green Italia 150 for sale right now for only $2600. That is a steal. If I were you, I'd sure jump on it!

Chowduh!

2011-09-19T21:18:00.000-07:00

Fall is swiftly approaching, and while it's not exactly crisp and cool yet here in sunny Santa Barbara, I can feel it coming... lots of squash appearing in the market, the nights coming a little earlier, and a strange desire for hot chai tea overtook me yesterday. Hmm.

So I pulled out my September issue of Vegetarian Times and determined it was time to start making the fall harvest recipes inside. This one is a keeper, fo sho...

Naturally, I adapted it slightly. I may have even broken some vegetarian laws of some sort in that my housemate, while chopping the potatoes, ordained that we just had to include some BACON in this recipe! And gosh darn it was tasty. No regrets.

FARMER'S MARKET CHOWDER

adapted (quite freely) from Vegetarian Times, Sept 2011 - serves 6

Ingredients:

4 large (or 5 small) ears corn, kernels removed and cobs reserved (OR the cheater version: one can of corn, liquid reserved)

2 1/2 cups low-fat milk

2 cloves garlic, peeled and crushed, plus 3 cloves garlic, minced (1 Tbs.), divided

2 Tbs. unsalted butter

3 Tbs. olive oil, divided

3 cups sliced leeks (5 medium)

1/2 tsp. smoked paprika

1/3 cup dry sherry

12 oz. peeled sweet potatoes, cut into medium dice (I used good ol' red potatoes)

1/2 lb. green beans, cut into 1/2-inch pieces (I used some lovely zucchini and cabbage instead)

2 Tbs. chopped fresh cilantro

Lime wedges, optional

(and perhaps 2-3 slices of bacon...)

Directions:

1. Combine corn kernels, milk, and crushed garlic in saucepan. Run back of knife down cobs to release milk and pulp into saucepan, then add cobs to pan. Bring to a boil. Remove pan from heat, and let steep. (I confess that I did not deal with corncobs... just opened a can)

2. Heat butter and 1 Tbs. oil in Dutch oven (or large stainless steel pot) over medium-low heat. Add leeks, cover, and cook 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. (Warning: the aromas start getting quite amazing at this point....) Add minced garlic and paprika, and cook 30 seconds. Stir in sherry, and cook 30 seconds. Add 4 cups water, and remove pot from heat.

3. Heat 1 Tbs. oil in skillet over medium-high heat. Add sweet potatoes, and sauté 8 minutes, or until browned; transfer to Dutch oven. Add remaining 1 Tbs. oil to same skillet, add green beans (or whatever nice green veggies you have on hand), and sauté 3 minutes. Transfer beans to plate.

4. Bring mixture in Dutch oven to a boil, reduce heat to medium-low, and simmer 5 minutes. Add green beans, and cook 4 minutes more.

5. Strain milk mixture (if you were a true chef and used the corn cobs), and discard the cobs. Stir milk mixture and 1 Tbs. cilantro into chowder. (I dissolved 2 tsp of cornstarch in a cup of cold water, then poured it into the pot to thicken it up). Season with salt and pepper, if desired. Sprinkle with remaining cilantro, and serve with lime wedges.

Eat with warm bread and enjoy. Leftovers were quite possibly better the next day....

Hands & Feet

2011-09-18T21:24:00.000-07:00

I have had the unexpected pleasure of reconnecting lately in two different situations with some very old friends. It is surprising and wonderful to talk to someone from 25 years ago. Not only is it a delight to reconnect, but the entire encounter is a powerful reminder of how things were, how stunningly naive I was, and how much things have grown and changed since then. I feel older, but also a bit wiser.

When I talk to these folks though, inevitably one of the first questions is, So what are you up to these days? Given that vocationally I wear at least four hats at any given time, it feels like there is no short answer to that question. And inevitably, I end up tripping over my words as I try to explain the different stuff I am so excited about.

However, as I read last night before going to sleep, I received a subtle "THAT'S it" when I read these words:

Teresa of Avila, a sixteenth-century Spanish mystic, wrote, “Christ has no body now on earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours. Yours are the eyes through which Christ’s compassion is to look out to the world; yours are the feet with which he is to go about doing good; yours are the hands with which God is to bless people now.”

My weeks are occupied with teaching, consulting, writing and strategic planning, and each of those projects use a different email address. But what they really add up to is one thing; ultimately, I hope that I can equip others a little bit in being "Jesus with skin on" in the world today. As Teresa of Avila said so many centuries ago, we are the hands and feet of Jesus.

So when I am leading 70 high school students in a weekly dialogue about the Gospel of Mark, I pray they are motivated to carry on the ministry of Christ in the world, incarnating his love and mercy and selfless service.

When I write articles, mostly about youth ministry, I pray that my words can assist a few youthworkers in persevering past the statistical 2.5 years of the average lifespan of a youthworker, carrying on as a faithful mentor to their own group of disciples.

When I work with a pastors in recruiting more volunteers or shaping three-year goals, it is my hope that they will feel hopeful about how they can actually do ministry, and not just worry about it and feel buried in budgets, emails and the crisis of the week.

And finally, when I am recruiting at colleges and building networks of support for the future leaders in the kingdom, I want each person I talk to, whether they are seminary presidents or college freshmen or hard-working faculty, to know that Jesus was loving enough (and slightly crazy?) to entrust the work of His kingdom into our clumsy hands.

As I read recently, "Lord, we are forever grateful that you do not want to change the world without us. May we become the church you dream of."

I reveled in Teresa of Avila's simple words, and the encouragement only mounted as I read Isaiah 25 and 26:

In that day the people will proclaim,
“This is our God!
We trusted in him, and he saved us!
This is the Lord, in whom we trusted.
Let us rejoice in the salvation he brings!” (25:9)

7 But for those who are righteous,
the way is not steep and rough.
You are a God who does what is right,
and you smooth out the path ahead of them.
8 Lord, we show our trust in you by obeying your laws;
our heart’s desire is to glorify your name.
9 All night long I search for you;
in the morning I earnestly seek for God. (26:7-9)

As it says in 2 Corinthians 4:1, Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. It is remarkable to me that God chooses to work through us, nincompoops that we are. But since he has entrusted such things to us, let us rise to the challenge, with His Spirit filling us. How good is our God.

Life Then, Life Now

2011-09-11T09:32:00.000-07:00

Even though I was a toddler when JFK was killed, I think of 9/11 as our own "What were you doing when JFK died?" moment.

I have very distinct memories of that morning of 9/11/01. I'd gotten up at 6:15am, as I did every Tuesday morning back then, to leave the house in time for a weekly 6:45 prayer meeting. As I brushed my teeth I heard the initial reports of the first plane crashing into the World Trade Center, which had only happened a half hour before. I numbly drove to church, which was only a few minutes away, listening desperately as NPR tried to get as many details as it could in the midst of the chaos.

Some people knew what had happened as they arrived to the prayer meeting, many did not. We prayed a few vague prayers for the situation, not remotely understanding what had happened. We also prayed through scripture, as was our practice. As we finished, one of the other pastors drew me aside and said, "I didn't hear about this before I came. How bad do you thin it really is?" I looked at him and said, "I think this is as bad as it gets."

I drove home distracted and was growing far more fearful. The radio had more horrifying details as I drove home: a plane crash into the Pentagon, the towers had fallen, flight 93 had plowed into Shanksville. My housemate, who worked with college students late every night, was still asleep in her room. I woke her up and said, "I think you need to see what's happening."

We sat silently in front of the TV. Slowly, our upstairs neighbor, a good friend, came downstairs and watched with us because she didn't want to watch it alone. Tears were rolling down our cheeks.

Meanwhile, I gathered my wits about me enough to recognize that my own brother worked in Manhattan! It took many hours to find out what had happened with him. He worked in Midtown (rather than Lower Manhattan, where it all happened). Nevertheless, he had to evacuate and spend many, many hours trying to get home. Cell coverage was sporadic and networks were jammed. Many families were unable to communicate for much of the day. His wife said the most horrible experience for her was standing at the train station in their town 20 minutes north of the city, watching spouses wait for their partners to come home.

Like everyone else, my day was spent glued to the TV. Life stopped.

The next significant moment I remember was exactly one month later, when I flew to New York myself. I'd previously booked a visit to see my niece and nephew, and amazingly, the flight departed on October 11. Rightly or wrongly, I was frightened to travel that day. I had a short flight to LAX, then a direct flight from LAX to JFK. That particular flight had a large group of Hasidic Jews on it. Like many thousands (millions, perhaps), I got down to Lower Manhattan and toured the crash site during my visit... which is sort of overstating the fact, since most of it was cordoned off. But in one spot you could see the leftover iron structure that is pictured above.

Touring the site, what stood out most were the thousands upon thousands of flyers posted that were either looking for lost loved ones, or commemorating their passing. Flowers, keepsakes, and various little items were stapled everywhere. The volume of agony was tangible. Given that I have experienced large-scale tragedies like fires and earthquakes on our Left Coast, I think I have a sense of the weight of such pain, but I also know that 9/11 stands alone in many respects.

Ten years later today, I pause and think of many things. My life is quite different -- mostly in that I have lost some dear people in my life: Andrew is 2005, Matt in 2006, Claire in 2010. My old youth group experienced the loss of two of their friends during that time, Alyssa and Jake.

So in many ways, the years after 9/11 are for me a very long march through grief. I am greatly changed as a result. I cry so easily. I am stopped in my tracks whenever I meet someone who has experienced death and loss, and am able to talk on a deep level immediately. Significant days -- birthdays, anniversaries, important days of memory -- often slow me down for awhile. Flying is still somewhat anxiety-producing, especially as we have to go through so many additional steps for the sake of "security." When I hear sirens, I flinch for a moment because now, I know how bad things can get. Though I walk with a "limp" from all of this, I am deeper, a tiny bit gentler, and much more aware of how much I cling to the hope of heaven in my daily life. And how much I want that comfort for others. It drives me in everything I do.

I am currently reading through the One Year Bible, and today's reading from Psalms captures my feelings -- both from ten years ago, and today -- well:

Psalm 55:
4 My heart pounds in my chest.
The terror of death assaults me.
5 Fear and trembling overwhelm me,
and I can’t stop shaking.
6 Oh, that I had wings like a dove;
then I would fly away and rest!
7 I would fly far away
to the quiet of the wilderness.
8 How quickly I would escape—
far from this wild storm of hatred.

Thankfully, we do not have to remain in such terror. I conclude with this prayer from Common Prayer:

You who prayed from the cross for your Father to forgive those who were killing you, grant us the courage to forgive those who harm us in our families, in our communities, and in our world. Help us recognize our own need to seek the forgiveness of others. Amen.

Mo' Moo Shu

2011-09-03T18:50:00.000-07:00

If you read this blog with any regularity, you know I am always looking for recipes that include plenty of vegetables, flavorful spices, that are also gluten-free... but I don't want to feel like I'm substituting or sacrificing anything.

I get many of my recipes and ideas from Vegetarian Times. Here's one from the September issue. I adapted it slightly, but will definitely be keeping this one. Not only does it taste good, but it was fun to make. It had lots of nice texture, mostly because you have to sliver the ingredients, and the cabbage gives it some nice bulk. The sauce is light, but also different. It doesn't just feel like stir fry again, take two.

Unfortunately, I thought I'd found some rice wraps to use, but it turns out they were for making spring rolls (which require deep frying). So I ended up just eating this over rice. I'll continue on a hunt looking for something to wrap this up. Regardless, the filling is tasty on its own.

VEGETABLE MOO SHU

For the sauce:
1/2 cup water
2 T soy sauce (or tamari, if you're gluten-free)
1 T sesame oil
1 T rice wine vinegar
2 t cornstarch
pinch sugar

For the filling:
3 large eggs
1 tsp soy sauce
cooking spray
1 small red onion, sliced
2 T grated fresh ginger
1 cup shitake mushrooms, cut into strips (I used regular mushrooms)
2 cloves garlic, minced
3 cups shredded cabbage
1 zucchini, grated (I cubed mine)
1 carrot, grated
2 green onions, sliced

16 moo shu pancakes*
*usually found in the freezer section of your market
hoisin sauce for serving

DIRECTIONS:

Combine all ingredients for the sauce in a container with a lid.
For the filling, whisk together eggs and soy sauce (tamari).
Heat a wok over medium heat with 1-2 tsp sesame oil.
Add scrambled eggs and cook 1 minute. Flip with spatula and cook one minute longer. (I also pan-fried some tofu, diced into cubes, to increase the protein content. No doubt this recipe would be great with some sauteed chicken or pork).
Remove from pan, reserve.
Wipe out wok and add more sesame oil; heat over medium heat.
Add onion and ginger. Stir fry 2-3 minutes.
Add mushrooms and garlic and cook 3-5 more minutes.
Add cabbage, zucchini, and carrots. Stir fry 4 minutes more.
Shake sauce (previously prepared) to combine and add to wok.
Simmer 2-3 minutes or until vegetable mixture thickens.
Slice reserved eggs (and tofu) into strips and fold into vegetable mixture.
Transfer to a serving platter with moo shu pancakes and hoisin sauce for serving.

Rock Polishing

2011-08-28T09:06:00.001-07:00

Children love to start collections. I'm not up to speed on what things that kids collect now, but back in the dark ages when I was little, my brother and I collected stuff like coins, stamps and rocks. One year he got a rock polisher for Christmas. It made the most mundane rocks look shiny, smooth and precious.

But what I remember even more was the sound the rock polisher made as the tumbler rotated round and round, its tiny little motor growling steadily as the water and sand and rocks rumbled inside. All the grinding, clunking and swishing had a hypnotic effect. I knew something almost magic was going on.

Lately it feels like several "rocks" in my life are tumbling around, rearranging and jockeying for space in my calendar. For the most part, it's a fun and fascinating process, and it feels like some lovely, polished rocks will get to emerge at some point, regardless of how unremarkable they may have looked before they went into the tumbler.

All of these current projects function separately, but they collectively come together in my heart and mind in wonderful ways. First of all, my role with the Free Methodist Church in Southern California has expanded to 3/4 time. In addition to the work I've done since March 2009 with individual Free Methodist lead pastors on strategic planning and leadership development, now I also get to pursue the development of pastoral leaders at Christian colleges and seminaries. I am also collaborating with some very creative denominational leaders, developing a plan for planting ministry in new cities within California. All of this will include more recruiting and training of college interns, partnerships with various faculty members and some writing and research. It's so fun for me it almost doesn't feel like work! (Though I sure don't mind getting paid to do it...)

I am continuing at Providence Hall, though my hours have tapered back quite a bit. Tuesday I start up teaching the "Foundations of the Christian Faith" course again to 9th through 12th graders. I will also train the new Foundations teacher for our new grades 7 and 8, which will be very gratifying for me since he is someone I had as a pastoral intern this summer and as a student in the past from the Westmont Mayterm course I taught in 2009. I am happy to say that I seem to never tire of being with teenagers. This fall we will start off studying the Gospel of Mark, and I will have the privilege of teaching them some fundamental principles of hermeneutics, which is just a fancy way of saying that we will talk about how to think as they read the Bible, and not just take the word of others.

These two responsibilities can fill my time quite adequately, but I am a little surprised that some other "side jobs" have bubbled up this summer. I just finished two different workshops this past week, one with Fuller Seminary and the other with a church here in town, talking through Strengths-Finder and ministry as a team. Those projects will continue for a few weeks as I do follow up. I'm in conversation with another non-profit in town who is interested in the same thing. Plus I am still working with two churches (one in Seattle, the other in Central California) through Youth Ministry Architects.

Last but not least, it looks like I have more writing projects coming up -- some more articles in Youthworker Journal in 2012, a monthly column in YMToday on spiritual disciplines, and a lead article for the Free Methodist national magazine in October. And a chapter in a book on youth ministry by Will Penner coming out sometime soon. Pinch me, I'm dreaming!!

Earlier I brought up the rock polisher... as I said, there is no real overlap when I work on these projects, and scheduling all of them in can prove to be quite a juggling act sometimes. They might even crash into one another once in awhile, much like the stones in the rock polisher. But collectively, they all tumble together and form some deep things in me. A couple of days ago I read this:

In his book City of God, Augustine of Hippo wrote, “The heavenly city, while it sojourns on earth, calls citizens out of all nations and gathers together a society of pilgrims of all languages. In its pilgrim state the heavenly city possesses peace by faith; and by this faith it lives.”

I loved these words because they reminded me that as followers of Jesus, this earth is not our real home. Rather, we are on a constant journey as resident aliens. As Paul says in Philippians 3:20, our citizenship is in heaven. So we navigate the tension of living in the "now and the not yet. Between coaching and consulting and writing and teaching I get to talk to believers from many different church traditions, with an occasional seeker along the way, and I am encouraged at the many "pilgrims" I meet as I do this. Together, in our own ways, both small and sometimes large, we are helping to build the heavenly city that Augustine talks about. I delight in being part of something so much bigger than my small little corner of the world.

Last week I picked up a book that I am taking very slowly, just reading a tiny bit each day, titled The Desert Fathers: Sayings of the Early Christian Monks. I am fascinating by the spiritual disciplines of the early church, and each quote in this book packs a punch. This one from two days ago is still with me:

Poemen said, "To be on guard, to meditate within, to judge with discernment: these are the three works of the soul."

Poemen was apparently a humble leader of a group of monastic hermits in the 5th century in Egypt, who guided his community in hard work, prayer and study. I liked this simple sentence because it called me to not lose sight of my real job as I work on these various projects and responsibilities: my highest calling, for eternity, is to know and love Jesus Christ. So I am to guard against temptations and distractions, to meditate and stand still enough to hear Him, and to be wise in my decisions, thoughts and words.

None of this easy to do, but it is always worthwhile. Augustine again taught me on this last night as I read this before I went to sleep:

Augustine of Hippo said, “Let us leave a little room for reflection in our lives, room too for silence. Let us look within ourselves and see whether there is some delightful hidden place inside where we can be free of noise and argument. Let us hear the Word of God in stillness and perhaps we will then come to understand it.”

I am so grateful for all of these opportunities. They are creative and challenging, and I am especially thankful for the gainful employment in such a bad economy! But ultimately, they will amount to nothing if I do not put first things first, and fix my heart on the Lord. If I do this, he persistently polishes the rough edges of my stony heart and makes something beautiful. Amazing.

Do Not Move

2011-08-20T21:09:00.000-07:00

As someone who moved not once but twice in kindergarten, then again after first grade, second grade and fifth grade, I vowed that I would live in one place as an adult.

I have had the very good fortune of being able to do that. I moved to Santa Barbara in 1979 to go to college, and have never moved since then. Thirty-two years in one place is a wonderful thing. I recognize it is an enormous gift, one that so many will not have the option to have.

But I also think that in our fast-paced, hyper-mobile culture, we don't really even value such stability any more. But some of the reading I've been doing lately is really challenging me to keep exploring the implications of stability. Many of us believe that in traveling we are able to embark on a journey that helps us discover ourselves, and hopefully God as well. But what is becoming more and more clear to me is that stability has allowed me to be on an inner journey instead, going deeper and deeper over the years into intimacy with God. As Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove says in The Wisdom of Stability, "I love the idea that the stability we are made for helps us establish 'roots of love,' binding us intimately to our landscape and the people who share life on it." Such 'roots of love' help me to tap more steadily into the Spirit too, who in turn teaches me to love others generously and persistently. While I have grown much over the years, I still have so very far to go!

These things have been turning over in my head, so as I read this quote last night, it spoke to these ongoing musings on staying in one place:

Somebody asked Abba Antony (St. Antony the Great of Egypt), “What shall I do in order to please God?”

He replied, “Do what I tell you, which is this: wherever you go, keep God in mind; whatever you do, follow the example of Holy Scripture; wherever you are, stay there and do not move away in a hurry. If you keep to these guide-lines, you will be saved.”

Chew on that.

Claire, We Hardly Knew You

2011-08-14T16:18:00.000-07:00

One year ago we said goodbye to Claire Michelle Carey. It has not gotten easier in the year since then.

A few of us got together last night to recall some favorite memories. We laughed and cried and occasionally sat silent in speechless grief. Such a beautiful life taken from us far too quickly. The loss still stings.

Yet we will never be the same. She touched us all in powerful, delightful, challenging ways. She was stubborn, she was smart, she was creative, she was a tireless and faithful friend.

Today in church, Denny my pastor preached on the story of Joseph in Genesis, primarily from chapters 45-50. He recalled much of Joseph's story, one full of privilege, betrayal, imprisonment... and redemption. In the midst of many unjust and painful experiences, Joseph remained faithful to God... no doubt still shaking his fist at times in sadness and confusion.

I have heard this story many times. Heck, I've taught on it more than once! But this morning as I listened, what I noticed was a poignant time of remembrance, grief and reconciliation between Joseph and his brothers, who betrayed him so many years before.

Imagine this scene:

Joseph could stand it no longer. There were many people in the room, and he said to his attendants, “Out, all of you!” So he was alone with his brothers when he told them who he was. Then he broke down and wept. He wept so loudly the Egyptians could hear him, and word of it quickly carried to Pharaoh’s palace.... [later in the chapter] Then Joseph kissed each of his brothers and wept over them, and after that they began talking freely with him. (Genesis 45)

Weeping and kisses. Laughter and agony. That's what happened last night as we remembered Claire... we both we giggled over her ornery ways and bawled as we looked at the giant hole she left in her departure.

I have discovered as I have gotten older that so much of life is filled with pendulum swings between heartache and hope. Yet we cannot really ride this rollercoaster without being willing to go on both the highs and lows. And truth be told, the pain makes the joy all the sweeter.

During the service, my housemate Ruth, also a dear friend of Claire's, led us in worship. One song in particular seemed to sum up the entirety of what I feel today. Here is a link to the original song. Below are the lyrics. Listen to them more than once. The depth of truth in them is dazzling, and put words to things I can barely allow myself to believe. But in Jesus, it is possible. I cling to him more than ever. We miss you Claire. We ache over your absence. You are loved, and not forgotten.

Jesus, I come.

JESUS I COME
Out of my bondage, sorrow and night,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into Thy freedom, gladness, and light,
Jesus, I come to Thee;
Out of my sickness and into Thy health,
Out of my wanting and into Thy wealth,
Out of my sin and into Thyself,
Jesus, I come to Thee.

Out of my shameful failure and loss,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into the glorious gain of Thy cross,
Jesus, I come to Thee;
Out of earths sorrows, into Thy balm,
Out of lifes storms and into Thy calm,
Out of distress into jubilant psalm,
Jesus, I come to Thee.

Out of unrest and arrogant pride,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into Thy blessed will to abide,
Jesus, I come to Thee;
Out of myself to dwell in Thy love,
Out of despair, into raptures above,
Upward forever on wings like a dove,
Jesus, I come to Thee.

Out of the fear and dread of the tomb,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into the joy and light of Thy home,
Jesus, I come to Thee;
Out of the depths of ruin untold,
Into the peace of Thy sheltering fold,
Ever Thy glorious face to behold,
Jesus, I come to Thee.

Chaos

2011-08-08T22:36:00.001-07:00

Today was one of those days... personally, I am doing well and am deeply grateful. But all around me I see and hear things that are heart-breaking and hard.

I got not one but two emails today from people who needed help finding a counselor for a sibling in a very difficult and painful marriage.

Another friend from church is facing terminal illness.

A friend of a friend is unexpectedly faced with raising her newborn alone.

Somalia rages with famine and devastation that could be, in large part, avoided.

Meanwhile, this Sunday is the one-year mark of the all-too-early loss of my dear friend Claire.

As I brought each one of these before God, all raw wounds and filled with fear, this was the psalm that I came to - Psalm 46:

1 God is our refuge and strength,

always ready to help in times of trouble.

2 So we will not fear when earthquakes come

and the mountains crumble into the sea.

3 Let the oceans roar and foam.

Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge!

Interlude

4 A river brings joy to the city of our God,

the sacred home of the Most High.

5 God dwells in that city; it cannot be destroyed.
From the very break of day, God will protect it.

6 The nations are in chaos,
and their kingdoms crumble!

God’s voice thunders,
and the earth melts!

7 The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us;
the God of Israel is our fortress.

Interlude

8 Come, see the glorious works of the Lord:
See how he brings destruction upon the world.

9 He causes wars to end throughout the earth.
He breaks the bow and snaps the spear;
he burns the shields with fire.

10 “Be still, and know that I am God!
I will be honored by every nation.
I will be honored throughout the world.”

11 The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us;

the God of Israel is our fortress.

As I read over each line, adding my own words and prayers, I remembered that I have mistakenly read verse 10 by itself in the past, not realizing that that particular verse, so peaceful-sounding on its own, is actually just a quiet and firm commandment in the midst of swirling chaos and fright. In it I hear, "KELLY, pull it together! Of course you are overwhelmed. These are far bigger than you are. Quit looking at your circumstances, and look at me instead!"

Then I remembered an equally stunning prayer that I read last night, that had a similar effect on me ~ it put everything in perspective:

Lord, train us to hear your voice. When it is time to grieve, help us to grieve. When it is time to rejoice, help us to rejoice. When we grow weary, be the strength in our weakness. And may your most beautiful and perfect will, not ours, be done. Amen.

I really should not be surprised when there is such agony and distress. This world is horribly broken. This is not how things were meant to be. In spite of all that, I will be still and know that He is God. And that I am not. Rather than try to carry it all on my weak shoulders, I will lay these fears, concerns, questions and pains before the One whose shoulders are far broader and arms are much more able to carry these heavy, heavy loads. Be still.

¡Viva La Fiesta!

2011-08-04T21:17:00.000-07:00

Many things are working in my favor at the moment... It's sunny here, but not overly hot, it's the week of Santa Barbara's annual "Old Spanish Days" (better known as "Fiesta), and best of all, I live in the Land of Avocados. (Did you know that 90% of this country's avocados come from the CA coast?)

In preparation for some Fiesta Food Sampling later this week, I made this recipe for dinner tonight. That's right, people. I had chips and dip for dinner. I feel great about that.

I must add that this particular recipe (alternatively called "Guacamummus or Hummamole," though I go for the plain and simple "Guacamole Hummus") has some advantages over traditional guacamole, if you can imagine that. The hummus provides some protein, the overall recipe is far less fattening, and honestly, it's a little less rich so it settles in my tummy more easily. Just sayin'.

My housemate found this in a Martha Stewart magazine... we enjoyed ours this evening with Trader Joe's Organic Blue Corn Tortilla Chips.

Ingredients:

1 avocado, peeled and pitted

1 (15 oz.) can of chickpeas, drained

1/2 cup fresh cilantro, chopped

1/4 cup chopped red onion

3 cloves garlic, peeled and smashed

2-3 tbsp olive oil

1 lime, juiced

1 tsp. cumin

1/4 tsp. salt (more or less to taste)

Method:

Combine all ingredients in a food processor and blend until smooth. Add in a few extra tablespoons of water to thin out the consistency if you’d like.

John Stott Memorial Page

2011-08-03T08:16:00.000-07:00

If you are also a John Stott fan (and several of the comments I've received from my previous blog post indicate that you're out there), spend some time on the memorial website established by his foundation... in the photo album are two shots of him birdwatching in Santa Barbara :)

John Stott Memorial Page

Thank You, John Stott

2011-07-30T20:09:00.000-07:00

I receive several weekly emails from various Christian publications, and I am grateful to notice how many of them recognize the passing of the man who in my heart and mind is the modern-day "hero" of world Christianity ~ John Stott. Unlike the majority of Christian leaders profiled in the media, John Stott was never at the center of a scandal. There was never a "gotcha" moment in the news, where the press caught him in some hypocritical lie or hideous photo. Impressively, Billy Graham named Stott as one of the 20th century's top 100 most influential people in the world.

I will not try to summarize his career here -- but please take a few moments later to read over these outstanding memorials to his ministry and life:

John Stott Had Died (Christianity Today magazine)
Articles about John Stott in Christianity Today over the years
Tremendous post on the "Brook Network"

Perhaps the one that moves me most though was posted today the New York Times op-ed columnist Nicholas Kristof. I don't know if you read much of his work, but this is a stunning testimony to the power of Stott's work. As Kristof says in this column, "I’m not particularly religious myself," but then goes on to commend the humble, generous and hard-working evangelical Christians like Stott, laboring and advocating for the poor in quiet and consistent way. This says it all:

"I stand in awe of those I’ve seen risking their lives in this way — and it sickens me to see that faith mocked at New York cocktail parties."

I want people who are "not particularly religious" to say those sort of things about me.

All of that being said, I want to use this post to note John Stott's impact on my life personally. Given the long span of his career, I've "known" him since I met Christ in 1976. Somewhere around the end of high school or early college I got my hands on perhaps his most famous book, Basic Christianity. Soon after I read a slim little volume that had a profound affect on me: Your Mind Matters (my copy had a weird graphic of a man's head from an autopsy or something - sorta creepy). It was a relief to find out that as I progressed through college that my faith could be intellectually rigorous as well. Then I read his commentary on 2 Timothy called Guard the Gospel. It felt like I finally "heard" and understood the sentimental tone of Paul's last letter after reading Stott's notes on it. I found myself snapping up every one of Stott's books as I could afford them.

But the one that made the tectonic plates shift in my heart and mind was his commentary on the Book of Acts, which was titled then The Spirit, the Church and the World. I read this in one of my early seminary classes (can I get a shout out for New Testament II, Acts to Revelation!?). He mapped out the history of the church in a very simple but profound way that was honestly like a shot of adrenaline to me in my early twenties. Maybe this won't fire you up, but I underlined and highlighted this paragraph back in the day:

But we should never be satisfied with a person's conversion. That is only the beginning. The same grace which brings a person to new birth is able to transform him or her into Christ's image. Every new convert becomes a changed person, and has titles to prove it, namely a 'disciple' or 'saint', newly related to God, a 'brother' or sister, newly related to the church, and a 'witness', newly related to the world. If these three relationships -- to God, the church and the world -- are not seen in professed converts, we have good reason to question the reality of their conversion. But whenever they are visibly present, we have good reason to magnify the grace of God.

Ah, such good stuff. He made theology interesting and something I could actually grasp!

Several other books serve as signposts in my Christian life... The Cross of Christ (Systematics II in seminary), his commentary on the Sermon on the Mount, Between Two Worlds (a life-changer on preaching), Why I Am A Christian (such fond memories of reading this with my small group who graduated in 1999)... ending with just last May, when I finished up my "Foundations of the Faith" class at Providence Hall for the year with Stott's final book, The Radical Disciple.

Can you see why I'm so attached? From the beginning of my faith, as a new convert in 1976, to where I am today, speaking to teenagers and pastors in 2011, Stott has been there. His crisp and logical explanations, executed with warmth and urgency at the same time, have walked me through countless passages of scripture. He made me fall in love with studying the Bible, with theology and apologetics, but perhaps most importantly of all, with living out my faith with integrity and commitment.

I had a personal "Stott sighting" myself years ago when he was speaking at chapel at Westmont College. I was in my late twenties, and could not believe the good fortune I had to hear him in person. Sadly, the students had no clue who he was, so in the few minutes before he spoke, they were busy visiting with friends or quickly cramming before their class that followed immediately afterward. I saw my chance -- he was seated in front and the seat next to him was open. He sat there serenely with his hands folded in his lap. I interrupted his peace and quiet, sitting beside him and introducing myself. (Yes, I know you can picture that quite easily!)

In his perfectly clipped British accent he kindly asked, "So do you live in one of the dormitories here?" I chuckled, telling him I was long out of college, and was in fact the Area Director for Young Life. He smiled warmly, said some nice things about Young Life and meeting the founder once (of course he did!). I asked him how often he'd been to Santa Barbara and he immediately brightened -- he went on for at least ten minutes about how much he liked "birding" here because of the fantastic array of birds present in our area. It was fantastic... I was chatting with my theological hero about birdwatching! (Which is why I selected the photo at the top, where he's wearing his beloved binoculars).

I grabbed a couple of other opportunities to hear him speak to pastors in other years, and continued to be awed by his calm, steady approach to controversy and problematic texts. He was so confident in the gospel and appeared unflappable. He truly was a role model to me, as a pastor, as a scholar, as a leader, as a single adult, as a generous person. (He donated the proceeds from all of his books to provide study resources to Majority World pastors -- I mean seriously, John Stott was the genuine article!)

Though I could go on and on, I will end with a list of seven core elements of John Stott's work, as listed by Mel Lawrenz on his blog listed above. These words are a mission statement:

1. Make personal devotion to God in Christ our highest priority.

2. Live consistently, with integrity. Resist the temptation to develop a public persona.

3. Develop core disciplines like Scripture reading and mediation, prayer, work and rest.

4. Trust in the unchangeable truth of Scripture. Go deep in our study of it.

5. Prepare public talks with a focus on substance. Look for the connections and order of our ideas.

6. Value relationships with other leaders. Be a mentor without having to be called a mentor. Follow natural patterns. Don’t reduce discipleship to a program.

7. “Read” the truth of God written in the natural world. Stott was an avid ornithologist. His cumulative knowledge made him a world expert. This was both an avocation and an act of worship. Like many other Christian leaders, Stott practiced a full awareness of God’s presence and work, and that included participating in the creation with a developing sense of awe and wonder.

Praise God for the ministry of John Stott. How glorious that God chose to use such an understated, humble, lovely man to impact millions for so many years. Beautiful.

I Still Read Books - Part 2

2011-07-28T20:38:00.000-07:00

The summer reading continues... while my first book took me (a few) weeks, I knocked down the second book in two days! I do not believe that indicates that this second book was WAY easier, but I will be the first to admit that I did not have to look up any words in the dictionary for this book. It also helped that it's summer and my schedule is nice and slow. So I had several uninterrupted hours to devour this book -- and let me tell you, it was a delight from start to finish.

The title, as you can see, is The Wisdom of Stability: Rooting Faith in a Mobile Culture by Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove.

FULL DISCLOSURE: Jonathan is a friend of mine. He married a former student from my youth group, his lovely wife Leah, and I even assisted in their wedding. So I cannot promise a completely objective perspective.

That being said, I will tell you that I believe Jonathan is a very gifted writer and a prophetic voice in the kingdom. He is wise beyond his years, and I am still stunned over how many books he has already written!

I hate it when book reviews just give a Spark Notes version of the book, so I will not reiterate a laborious listing of quotes. I'll just share what spoke to me...

I was a kid who moved a lot. I went to 3 kindergartens (in one year, thank you very much), then moved after 1st grade, 2nd grade, and 5th grade. I made a commitment deep in my heart as a child that when I grew up, I would live in ONE PLACE. I was jealous of the kids who had known all their friends throughout elementary school, and who had teachers who knew their siblings. My experience of elementary school was mostly about being the new kid, spending the early months of the school year eating lunch alone, getting picked last for kickball and having my teachers mangle my last name over and over... and over.

Lest you think I'm just looking for your sympathy, I have come to discover that living in one place isn't always what it's cracked up to be. Even living in beautiful Santa Barbara has its downsides. And more than once I've really wanted to relocate and have a do-over.

But I had vowed to stay in one place and figure out how to make it work. Especially because I have no real extended family, I have wanted to have a family here. But as I have stumbled and tumbled through the bumps and bruises of that process, I have yearned for direction at times. And that is the beauty of this book. And Kathleen Norris says in the book's Foreword, "Committing to stability is never easy, but it is always worth a try."

Jonathan takes the practice of stability to a new place to me -- no longer is it a personal point of stubbornness, but instead, it is a spiritual discipline. He sums it all up so beautifully in his opening sentence: "This is a book about staying put and paying attention."

As I consider what it means to be an active member of the kingdom of God, hopefully persevering in faith and service as I seek to encourage others to do the same, it is easy to get discouraged. It feels like the divorce culture in America has obliterated this millennium's understanding of commitment. The threats of terrorism, tsunamis and a troubled world economy overwhelm us and make us want to withdraw and focus on ourselves. The internet puts the world at our fingertips -- then blinds us with such an endless parade of options that we can't stay focused on anything more than 6 seconds. How can anyone pursue "a long obedience in the same direction"? Jonathan says it this way: "Staying, we all know, is not the norm in our mobile culture." But he refuses to accept that, because "I am convinced that we lose something essential to our existence as creatures if we do not recognize our fundamental need for stability."

He then goes on to describe how we find this stability, this rootedness, in God... as expressed in committed community life.

Life in the house of God is life with other people who are every bit as broken and messed us as we are. We learn to dwell with God by learning the practices of hospitality, listening, forgiveness, and reconciliation -- the daily tasks of life with other people. Stability in Christ is always stability in community... Stability demands that we do the long, hard work of life with other people in the place where we are.

There, I've said enough. I promised I wouldn't just regurgitate a bunch of quotes. I've seen this book on sale with Amazon for $6... try to track it down and read it. It will force you to think about the trajectory of your life in some profound ways.

Mercy

2011-07-26T21:49:00.000-07:00

I am running across so many great quotes this summer... here's one I cannot help but share:

I Still Read Books

2011-07-26T09:02:00.000-07:00

I'm not trying to sound superior in my title... I just have not (yet) made the dive into Kindle or Nook or iPad. I'm not against e-Book technology necessarily -- but I cannot deny that I still love the feeling of holding a book in my hand... seeing those books in my shelves... pulling them out occasionally to look for the underlined quote or section that my visual memory is recalling... Ah.

I'm on a sabbatical of sorts this summer. My contract to teach ended in June and I don't start up again until the third week of August. So I'm working about half-time and am grateful to say I have enough income to not fret over the temporary decrease. Instead, I'm using the extra time to read. Ah.

I've piled an ambitious stack of books in my room, and hope to chip away at a book per week for 6 weeks or so. I'm already a week behind, but I am not daunted. I have finished one and am halfway through another. I've even tossed one aside that bored me within 50 pages.

I hope to put some thoughts here after each one I read, so here goes on the first book of my summer reads....

Reader Alert: Unlike normal people, I'm not a let's-just-read-something-light-in-the-summer kinda gal. I relax by reading, period. Sometimes it's thick stuff, but often the need to concentrate on what I'm reading is even more relaxing. I'm a weird one.

A FAILURE OF NERVE: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin Friedman

I picked this book up for three reasons:

I loved Friedman's book Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church & Synagogue when I read it in a seminary class some 20 years ago, so I especially trusted him as an author. Generation to Generation was a game changer for me. Not only did it help me to tap into some of my own family stuff, it helped me to see how family systems are at work in the church. This really helped me understand the intricate relational dynamics swirling around me as a youth pastor. (Of course I wish I had been mature enough and smart enough to avoid the many pitfalls I still stumbled into, but at least I understood them, mostly in hindsight...)
I had read an article that referred to this new book, A Failure of Nerve, and the quotes were really intriguing. I had to read more.
Leadership. I really care about leadership -- how to bring it out in others (especially pastors), how to discern it in young people, how to identify it, how to live it out myself. There is a pile of lousy leadership books out there. After reading the quotes from this book in the article I sensed that Friedman had something different (and NEW) to say.

I promptly ordered the book, and started reading it as soon as I got it. Soon I remember one significant quality of Friedman's work: he is a rather dense writer. Not impossible, certainly, but not one to casually scan either. Be prepared to dig in, and perhaps only read in small chunks.

Friedman must've been one very smart cookie -- he was both a Marriage & Family Therapist and a rabbi, and consulted with countless organizations and congregations. His books roam through history, theology, psychology, hard science, sociology... But I think I enjoy his books so much because they are not "same song, different verse," especially when it comes to the qualities of spiritual leadership. He has truly unique, thought-provoking things to say. Here's a simple example:

A well-differentiated leader... [is] someone who has clarity about his or her own life goals, and therefore, someone who is less likely to become lost in the anxious emotional processes swirling about. I mean someone who can be separate while still remaining connected, and therefore can maintain a modifying, non-anxious, and sometimes challenging presence. I mean someone who can manage his or her own reactivity to the automatic reactivity of others, and therefore be able to take stands at the risk of displeasing.

In my own work with pastors and church leaders, I find the most prominent areas where they (myself included) get stuck is in trying to remain in front of the many tasks, projects and people under our care. There is a huge tendency to get buried by the demands and urgency of them all, be drawn into all of their crises, and become deeply tired and overwhelmed. One ends up becoming a manager of endless to-do lists or worse, a firefighter consumed with putting out the "Fire of the Week." All of that is tremendously draining and a fast ticket to burnout.

Friedman reminds us that our job is to lead. Yet rather than follow the route of the leadership and motivational books one sees filling the stacks of airport bookstores (The Complete Idiot's Guide to Motivational Leadership, Heroic Leadership, Oprah's Guide to Life, 50 Self-Help Classics...) Friedman avoids gimmicks and methods completely. Instead, he goes straight to the heart of the matter, and stays there. He insists that the reader grapple with the deeper, more fundamental issues that percolate inside all of us. This "requires commitment to the lifetime project of being willing to be continually transformed by one's experience." Remember the subtitle: "Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix." Friedman insists on one leading out of a profound, ethically-driven sense of mission, purpose and calling. He made me really look at how much chronic anxiety is at work in every corner of American life, and how much I succumb to it. As he says, "Living with crisis is a major part of leaders' lives." It "comes with the territory." But the book then sheds tremendous light on how to lead in spite of all those dynamics at work. If the leader can stay above the reactive fray, then he or she can move from a "seatbelt" mentality to one of adventure and prophetic wisdom. I must listen to God far more than I listen to the emails, voicemails and appointments in my day. This quote says it all:

In the final analysis, the relationship between risk and reality is about leadership.

Friedman gives insight into all the various expressions of leadership in front of us: as parents, in the church, at work, in our culture. As soon as I finished this book I went back to page 1 and reviewed the entire book again, taking notes this time. (I mentioned I'm weird). I could go on and on with the value of this book, but I'll end with this simple quote:

Most of the decisions we make in life turn out to be right or wrong not because we were prescient, but because of the way we function after we make the decision.

Friedman reminds me that while I cannot control nearly anything in this world, I can certainly decide, in and through Christ, how I will respond to the things I face every day. As the Apostle Paul says,

I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return. May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation—the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ—for this will bring much glory and praise to God. (Philippians 1:9-11)

Lift Up Your Voices

2011-07-19T21:57:00.001-07:00

Blogging went on hiatus these last couple of weeks as I got busy preparing to leave for a conference. I just returned from it late last night.

Attending GC11, the sesquicentennial ~ fancy shmancy word for "150" ~ celebration of the Free Methodist Church in the United States was like trying to take a sip of water from a fire hydrant... impossible to sum up here. Suffice it to say that I was deeply blessed by the respectful dialogue, the prophetic speakers, the earnest and humble leadership, and the warm and genuine people that I met there.

I'm not gonna lie... I'm exhausted. It will take me several days to catch up -- on sleep, on routines, on work, on downloading my heart and mind after such a full time.

One place that was consistently a source of energy in the midst of such a jam-packed schedule was the nightly worship. These were unhindered times where I could sing really loud and cherish the facts that hundreds, if not thousands, of others were doing the same. Normal Sundays of a hymn or two and some more contemporary praise songs are usually enjoyable for me. But once every few years it is really fun to just GO FOR IT and get sweaty in worship! GC11 provided that, and I loved it. Keeps me young, right?!

Intense times like that keep me singing for several days afterward. So this evening I ran into this classic hymn, and immediately found myself humming it loudly. Even better, I spent some time poring over the verses. They are sheer poetry. Please take a few moments and consider their beauty, imagery and deep emotion.

Apparently, this hymn is a paraphrase of an ancient hymn first written by St. Francis in the 13th century. It's hard to believe something that sounds so relevant today could have been written so long ago. Open your eyes a little wider, and tune your ears a bit more thoughtfully to God's creation around you. We are so blessed!

All creatures of our God and King,
lift up your voices, let us sing:
Alleluia, alleluia!
Thou burning sun with golden beams,
thou silver moon that gently gleams,
Refrain (R):
O praise him, O praise him,
Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia!

Thou rushing wind that art so strong,
ye clouds that sail in heaven along,
O praise him, Alleluia!
Thou rising morn, in praise rejoice,
ye lights of evening, find a voice, (R)

Thou flowing water, pure and clear,
make music for thy Lord to hear,
Alleluia, alleluia!
Thou fire so masterful and bright,
that givest man both warmth and light, (R)

Dear mother earth, who day by day
unfoldest blessings on our way,
O praise him, Alleluia!
The flowers and fruits that in thee grow,
let them his glory also show: (R)

And all ye men of tender heart,
forgiving others, take your part,
O sing ye Alleluia!
Ye who long pain and sorrow bear,
praise God and on him cast your care: (R)

And thou, most kind and gentle death,
waiting to hush our latest breath,
O praise him, Alleluia!
Thou leadest home the child of God,
and Christ our Lord the way hath trod: (R)

Let all things their Creator bless,
and worship him in humbleness,
O praise him, Alleluia!
Praise, praise the Father, praise the Son,
and praise the Spirit, Three in One: (R)
Words: after Francis of Assisi (1182-1226);
paraphrase of "Canticle of the Sun" by Francis of Assisi.

Arroz Negrito... ¡Muy Delicioso!

2011-07-07T19:29:00.000-07:00

I'm still on my Food Network binge, and last weekend I watched a few (OK, several) episodes of The Best Thing I Ever Ate.

Crazy fun! Nearly everything I watch on this network doesn't make me hungry as much as it gets me excited about cooking.

BUT.... one item did make me ravenous. One of the chefs talked about a Salvadoran burrito he ate weekly when he went to college in Amherst. The way he described it made me want to book a flight then and there (though the restaurant review I found was less than glowing... I trust the chef.)

After some googling, I figured out how to come close to the recipe. The filling is a variation on a Salvadoran dish called Arroz Negrito. It's also really similar to Gallo Pinto, if you've been to other Central American countries.

My variation is a one-pot dish that I made in my rice cooker! While the fixins were brewing in the cooker I then proceeded to make my own corn tortillas, which I profiled in an earlier blog. People, it was G-L-O-R-I-O-U-S. This would be easy to make in a big pot on the stove as well - once you get to the cooking part, just turn it on to low heat and cover it until the rice fluffs up. Enjoy.

ARROZ NEGRITO / GALLO PINTO / FAT TUMMY

Serves 4

1 cup of white or brown rice

1 tbsp of oil

1 onion, chopped

minced garlic - the more the merrier

1 can black beans - drain the liquid into a measuring cup

1 small can diced green chiles - drain off fluid and add to black bean liquid

1 chopped green pepper (leave in chunky pieces)

1 chopped zucchini

1 tsp of chicken or vegetable bouillon

1 tbsp diced cilantro

Salt to taste

Instructions:

Sauté the garlic and onion directly in the rice cooker by turning it to "cook." Continue till onion is slightly translucent.

Add rice, the bouillon, the rest of vegetables, cilantro and salt

Mix together until it all starts to clump together. At this point add the beans. Stir together.

Add enough water into measuring cup of bean & chile water until it makes 2 cups of water. Put this water into rice cooker. Stir well.

Cover and cook!

Serve warm and garnish with pico de gallo, salsa, sour cream, sliced avocado... use either as a filling for burritos or soft tacos, or just piping hot in a bowl!

Other possible vegetables to include:

1/2 can of diced tomatoes - use fluid from that to add to black bean water

corn kernels

diced cabbage

mushrooms

chard

Ruth Schmidt: August 20, 1938 - July 5, 1996

2011-07-05T20:05:00.000-07:00

Today I celebrate the most remarkable woman I have had the privilege of knowing. We lost her far too soon. It's especially hard for me to believe that it's been 15 years since her passing. Nevertheless, I think of her so often. Furthermore, I apply the things she taught me nearly every day.

It's impossible to summarize all that Ruth Schmidt was... She was married to Don, mother to Scott and Stacy, and a remarkable Marriage & Family Therapist. She was instrumental in founding the Counseling Center at Westmont College - if you're ever there, there is a lovely sitting area dedicated to her out in front.

I first met Ruth when I was working for Young Life, in the mid-eighties, and she and Don were faithful donors. Somewhat soon thereafter though I realized it would be valuable for us to meet for counseling. After a few months, our relationship mutated from counselor/client to mentor/mentee. I learned a great deal from her about boundaries, how to express expectations, and how to not work (quite) so compulsively...

But perhaps more importantly, we took trips to their beloved cabin at Mt. Hermon. We shared a love for kitties. She calmed my heart when I had to make large "asks" in my fundraising. From Ruth I learned how to put on a classy event; how to buy just the right present; how to cook... but most crucial of all, I learned volumes from her as to how to face death with incredible courage.

In 1992, right when she and Don were starting to enjoy the fruits of retirement, she started experiencing some strange symptoms. At first it appeared she had had a stroke, but the ongoing heaviness in her legs and changes in her speech finally led to the painful diagnosis in Spring 1993 that she had ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease). This hit me like a guillotine. I had grown so incredibly fond of Ruth and could not imagine life without her. Furthermore, to imagine the profound suffering she would be facing seemed unfathomable. (In my immaturity I wish I had thought more about how this affected her!)

Somehow I mustered the courage to ask if I could be a part of her journey into that "long good night." Always the giver, so generous, she said yes, though I imagine she would have wished for more privacy. Four to five of us would rotate coming over one afternoon a week to assist Don with some of Ruth's care. For close to three years this was part of my weekly schedule. It was always a delight to be with her, but it was (sadly) never easy for me. I had so much to learn in terms of what it means to be with those whose end is coming a little sooner than expected.

Perhaps most jarring for me is to look back now and see that this deeply painful passage with Ruth would prepare me for the later loss of my friends Matt Steele (Oct 1, 2006) and Claire Carey (Aug 14, 2010). My goodness, life is so hard. But I can say I am changed by knowing such remarkable, lovely, outstanding friends.

In reflecting on how I spent those last few months with Ruth, I mostly have regrets. I wish I had held her hand more. I wish I would have sat and visited with her, and not just busied myself nervously with some of the tasks that appeared necessary. I wish I had told her everything I felt, and how much I loved her. I would have listed everything she taught me, and what things I would do in the future because of her impact on my life.

The incredible part about Ruth was that I think she already knew those things...

Ruth's parting gift to me was a fantastically generous gift that allowed me to make a down-payment on my house. Given what I had been making in my work in youth ministry, I never dreamed that would be possible. Because I always lived in tiny, dingy apartments, Ruth had hosted so many events for me over the years in her amazing home on the Riviera -- Young Life fundraisers, dinners, Bible studies, parties for leaders... Near the end, she told me she wanted me to be able to keep doing that in my own home. What a woman.

Perhaps most wondrous of all (and creative of God) is that about 4 years after Ruth's death, another Ruth, my friend and housemate, moved in. Like me, her own ministry prevented her from being able to afford a home, but because of Ruth's Schmidt's generosity, she has been able to live here comfortably and affordably.

I end my memories with this -- Ruth shared these lovely words with us a few months after she announced her diagnosis. Once again, she sought to minister to those around her, even in her own dark time:

Be at peace.

Do not look forward in fear to the changes of life;

Rather look to them with full hope that as they arise,
God, whose very own you are, will lead you safely
through all things;

And when you cannot stand it, God will carry you
in His arms.

Do not fear what may happen tomorrow;

The same everlasting Father who cares for you today
will take care of you today and every day.

He will either shield you from suffering or will give you
unfailing strength to bear it.

Be at peace and put aside all anxious thoughts and
imaginations. (St. Francis de Sales)

Thank you, Ruth Schmidt. I am forever changed.

Solitude Devotional

2011-06-30T22:46:00.000-07:00

My church, Free Methodist Church of Santa Barbara, asked me to write a study guide on the spiritual discipline of solitude for this month - July 2011.

I've mentioned this to a few friends I know and they have asked me for a copy, so I've decided to post it here. It will guide you through daily devotions for the entire month of July.

I'd be very curious to hear any feedback, should you choose to use it. The content came almost purely from my own pursuit of intimacy with God in these last 2 1/2 years or so. I've spent time studying Benedictine spirituality, reading authors like Henri Nouwen, Scot McKnight, Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove, Parker Palmer, Kathleen Norris and Thomas Merton.

In terms of my own time today, this psalm came into my reading. It was a profound blessing that spoke directly to where I am right now. May your times with God this coming month be rich and real in new ways. Amen.

Psalm 4

¹ Answer me when I call to you,
O God who declares me innocent.
Free me from my troubles.
Have mercy on me and hear my prayer.
² How long will you people ruin my reputation?
How long will you make groundless accusations?
How long will you continue your lies?
Interlude

³ You can be sure of this:
The Lord set apart the godly for himself.
The Lord will answer when I call to him.
⁴ Don’t sin by letting anger control you.
Think about it overnight and remain silent.
Interlude

⁵ Offer sacrifices in the right spirit,
and trust the Lord.
⁶ Many people say, “Who will show us better times?”
Let your face smile on us, Lord.
⁷ You have given me greater joy
than those who have abundant harvests of grain and new wine.
⁸ In peace I will lie down and sleep,
for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe.

Good Eats

2011-06-29T19:54:00.000-07:00

Truth be told, my newest addiction has become the Food Network. Favorite show #1 is Chopped. Favorite show #2 is Cupcake Wars. Favorite show #3 is Iron Chef America (though the "Chairman" drives me batty). Favorite show #4 (and most relaxing to watch) is Diners, Drive-ins & Dives.

Strangely enough, these shows don't make me hungry. And I don't even aspire to cook the things I watch them make, even though I am awed by what they do. But these shows do make me itchy to cook the dishes I enjoy making.

So the combination of Food Network and the unspeakably gorgeous weather have got me in a great mood and going for it in the kitchen. In the last week I've pulled out these favorite recipes:

Loads of seasonal vegetables topped with Thai peanut sauce on rice noodles
Polenta pizza with pesto sauce, zucchini, onion and mozzarella
Burgers of portobello mushrooms and fresh pineapple slices grilled on the barbecue, marinated in homemade (gluten-free!) teriyaki sauce - topped off with avocado slices

Good eats. Happy tummy. Great life.

Happy Birthday!

2011-06-28T22:26:00.000-07:00

If you have ever been involved in a small group for Bible study or accountability, you have John Wesley to thank.

I mention that because he was born on this day in 1703. There are many admiring things I could mention about him, from his heart for the poor to his prophetic leadership vision to his passion for the lost to his profound focus on discipleship and growth. His energy for ministry was stunning. One of his biographers said he "rode 250,000 miles, gave away 30,000 pounds, ... and preached more than 40,000 sermons." The more I learn about him, the more I am impressed, humbled and grateful.

While much more could be said in celebration of his birth, I will simply end with these words from him:

Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can.

Slow Work

2011-06-27T10:01:00.000-07:00

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin said,

“Above all, trust in the slow work of God. We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay. We would like to skip the intermediate stages. We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new. And yet, it is the law of all progress that it is made by passing through some stages of instability — and that it may take a very long time. Above all, trust in the slow work of God, our loving vine-dresser.”

True Power

2011-06-26T16:02:00.000-07:00

I never tire of recognizing the dramatic contrast between the world's understanding of power ~ full of intimidation, abuse, ruthlessness and greed ~ with the truth of power in God's economy. For God, power is infinite, available to all, not given through fists or a battle of wills, but through the humiliation of the cross as suffered by Christ alone. Christ chose to pay the price for our sin in taking on the humiliation and profound suffering of crucifixion, thus demonstrating more power than we will ever see anywhere else in creation.

We sang this song this morning at church and I was reminded once again of the utter beauty of real transformation that is offered solely through the gospel. How can anyone turn this down? May we be dogged in sharing such lovely, good news.

The Power of the Cross

by Keith Getty and Stuart Townend

Oh to see the dawn of the darkest day

Christ on the road to calvary

Tried by sinful men, torn and beaten then

Nailed to a cross of wood

Chorus:

This the pow’r of the cross

Christ became sin for us

Took the blame, bore the wrath

We stand forgiven at the cross

Oh to see the pain written on Your face

Bearing the awesome weight of sin

Ev’ry bitter thought, ev’ry evil deed

Crowning Your bloodstained brow

Now the daylight flees, now the ground beneath

Quakes as its maker bows his head

Curtain torn in two, dead are raised to life

‘Finished!’ the vict’ry cry.

Oh to see my name written in the wound

For through Your suf‘fring I am free

Death is crushed to death, life is mine to live

Won through Your selfless love

Chorus:

This the pow’r of the cross

Son of God slain for us

What a life, what a cost

We stand forgiven at the cross